Monday, August 8, 2011

DOT 100 : EVOLUTION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)
At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   
Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 15/9/2009) 
Day 6 in Lourdes …

You were wheeled back to your room a short while later, still asleep.

The doctor then came in with your scan film. 
Mom motioned for him to talk to Dad and her outside your room. Even though You looked like You were in deep sleep, she did not want to take the risk of You overhearing whatever that was going to be said, especially when it did not feel like it was going to be good.

The doctor broke the news.

“We see an evolution of the original tumor,” he said. 
Pause - for the message to sink in.
Evolution? 
That was the first time Dad and Mom heard of the naughty cell being introduced in that way. 
“There seems to be two unfamiliar images,” he added. 
Two??? 
How Mom could remain standing after hearing that, she will never know. 
All she knew was that whatever life she had left in her was painfully squeezed out of her body, leaving her completely stricken with shock.

There are 2 tumors???

“I’m very sorry,” he finished at last. 
There was a dead and very final ring to his sentence. 
A wailing voice started screeching non-stop in Mom's head.

OMG OMG OMG ...
 
 You're no longer trapped in a cage ...
 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

DOT 99 : HYSTERIA

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)
At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   
Daniel (14+ years old) Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Day 6 in Lourdes …

Today is your 4th day in Lourdes Hospital.

“We’d like to do a second scan on Daniel …” the doctor informed us when he came to see You first thing in the morning. 
He said that it was not possible for the hemorrhage to cause You to sleep so much. You had been drowsy and sleepy since admission and that was not a normal reaction. The nurse wheeled You in your bed, out to the scan room. 
After the scan, the nurse brought You back to your room. Your eyes were closed. 
Barely 10 minutes passed, when the nurse came back to tell us that the doctor has asked for a third scan, this time with contrast. 
Apparently, the doctor noticed some unfamiliar image.

Unfamiliar image …

That phrase alone was enough to make your mother’s skin crawl and hair stand on ends. Mom threw a glance at You and noticed that You were sleeping quite peacefully. 
You were pushed out again in your bed. 
Dad and Mom waited for You in your room, this time with agitation. 
Dad was staring out of the window while Mom was pacing about, going out of her mind with worry. Hysteria was gnawing at her nerves by the second. 
It was really frightening not knowing what was happening to You.


Your last Chinese New Year in Genting Highlands in Feb 2009.




Saturday, August 6, 2011

DOT 98 : SNOOZE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 14/9/2009) 

Day 5 in Lourdes …
 
Mom nodded quietly. 
She did not trust herself to say anything. 
We were standing by your bed on one side, with Dad on the other side. We observed that You had slept the whole day through and was likely to sleep through the night as well. 
You did not wake up to eat or even say a word, except to the nurse who came to check on You. Even then, You opened your eyes briefly, and went back to sleep the moment the nurse left. 
Shortly after visiting hours, Aunt Laura and Dad left the hospital.

Mom spent the rest of the night sitting on the companion bed, watching You wearily. 
You were clearly in Snooze Land, resting quite peacefully, oblivious to what was happening around You. 
Alone with You, Mom could not help but wonder about your back pains and was puzzled how You could just continue to lay flat on the bed, with very little movements, for three days straight without any complaints. 
Too tired to reason, or perhaps too afraid to tread on spiritual territory, Mom decided to just leave it alone. 
Tomorrow will be a better day. 
So please ...

Please get up tomorrow ...
Please ... 
 
The last time You visited Kuantan Beach (Feb 2009).
We have not been there since you left on Jan 21, 2010, and there is no reason for us to go there again.
It just will not be the same.

DOT 97 : CALM

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 14/9/2009) 

Day 5 in Lourdes …

Today is your 3rd day in Lourdes Hospital.

Dad was at the hotel to help Justine pack. 
Later that day, Dad, Grandma and Justine went to the Grotto before they came to the hospital to visit You. 
Mom assured Justine that we would be back within a few days, that we were just waiting for the hemorrhage to dissolve and allow your body to heal. 
Later that evening, Aunt Laura and Dad sent Grandma and Justine to the train station to catch the night train to Paris. 
They would reach Paris station early the next morning, and would have ample time to get to the airport to take the flight back home to Kuala Lumpur departing around noon.

After seeing them off at the station, Aunt Laura and Dad came to the hospital. Mom always felt better when Aunt Laura was around. She always knew all the right things to say. 
Her calmness was reassuring, her faith unwavering. 
“She knows …” Aunt Laura said.

“She knows what’s happening,” Aunt Laura continued softly.

That was comforting to hear. 
 
 Your last Chinese New Year with us in Kuantan (Feb 2009).