DOT 205 : DIARY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

You scribbled the following in Mom's pink diary that night, laying chest down on the bed, your elbows propping yourself up. Mom was right beside You, resting on the bed, whispering a note of thanks to Our Lady that You were well enough to - write. :D

 

By Daniel ... Saturday

Actually, the first thing (You underlined first) I'm gonna do is to check out my brand new PSP. Of course it won't be brand BRAND new once Justine is done with it. THEN, I'll jam all night with Dad on my elec guitar. :D

I'm thinking of getting Jus a new fone - one with bluetooth AND infared bc she's always complainin' about the phone she has now to me. Not that You got her a bad phone, Dad, if you're reading this. Hopefully, she'll be happy with the fone I'm gonna get her.

I'm thinking to get Aunty D and C something nice for Christmas as well. But I can't give Aunty D a phone bc I can't compete with da fones she gets from her bfs. I dun really know what Aunty C likes tho. That's right, this year is all about giving (underlined giving).

I received enough this year - the PSP, elec guitar. I'm quite disappointed that I'm not sitting for PMR. Me and Jus were supposed 2 gt laptops. But actually part of me is quite relieved - I mean I couldn't really prepare for PMR.

Mom just told me 2 rite abt my experience in da baths. It's actually basically me going into ice-freezing water. But every time I go in, I get a little better - I'm happier, I feel better and I just feel like huggin' everyone I see. Julian gave me a snow globe today he said "Whenever you pray, always think of our Lady of Lourdes." This is the 1st time I'm doing this and I feel less of a man ... But 2 be honest, this beats lying down any day. Well mom is sleeping and I guess I should too.

Mother Mary, Immaculate Conseption, Our Lady of Lourdes, help us all to get a goodnights rest so that we may wake up full of life to go to the Grotto tomorrow and pls help me to get better so that I may join Mom and Dad to walk to the Grotto without having to take any trammal (painkiller) and without any pain. That's my goal. Maybe, MAYBE, I'll write again tmr.

C U then.

Chiaozzz ...

Daniel

 

 Taken on Sept 30, 2009.

You struck a few dramatic poses to show, as well as to entertain, 

your Aunty D that You were feeling much better since she arrived. 

We were in the living room of the hotel.

You had us in fits. :D

 

DOT 204 : SCRIBBLE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

You hesitated. 

Mom began, "Just say anything that comes to your mind ..."

You remained silent.

Your mother encouraged further, "If You know for sure that EVERYTHING You say now is going to happen when we get back home, what would You like to see happen?"

You appeared to be thinking.

Mom prompted, as she started scribbling the words, 

"The first thing I'm gonna do is ..."

You took it from there ... Mom continued scribbling as You started to dictate your thoughts out loud.

You said, "The first thing I'm gonna do is to jam all night. I'm going to say HI to Kish. I'm going to keep all my neat gifts in my room, all the rosaries and globe, on my table so I can see them always ..."

At this point, Mom asked if You wanted to write yourself ... and You gladly grabbed the pen and the journal and started scribbling away ... :D

 

Hello Kish ... :D

Kish saw You that night after we left your body in church ... Your family know this to be true ... You followed us home ... When Kish came in through the door with Aunt C, Kish was so very excited ... bouncing and bouncing and bouncing ... and panting and panting and panting ... she couldn't be still ... like she had a little fire cracker that was going off inside her ... We couldn't concentrate on our prayers, she was a major distraction ... prancing around and trying to jump on us like she wanted to tell us something ... 

Mom thinks, if Kish could talk, she would have said, "Daniel's here! Daniel's here! He's surrounded by stars! It's so bright! Can't you people see him? He's here!" Honestly, we have never seen her behave in that manner before, and after that one time, she never behaved that way again. That's because Jesus raised You up on the third day as He promised He would. Now You are safe with the Lord. Praise JESUS for that.

DOT 203 : DISTRACTION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

After dinner that night, Dad went to the grotto.

We had attended the Blessed Sacrament that evening at 5 pm followed by the Holy Mass at 6 pm. You had stayed in the TV room after a late lunch, and was watching an American TV show in French. 

That night, Mom was with You in the room. 

After reading a few chapters of The Life Of Mary, with You listening very intently, Mom closed the book and put it aside.

She reached for her floral pink journal on the bedside desk, found a pen, and posed a question.

"What is the first thing You want to do when You get home?"

Mom wanted to create a little excitement for You as a - distraction. 

She felt it was important for You to be able to see beyond our impossible circumstance during that challenging period the last few days and to look forward to something nice that You might want to do.

On your birthday (and Dad's) on Christmas Eve, 2008.

Justine, Aunty Carol and You at Grandma's house.

DOT 202 : LIONS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

At the time of uttering that assurance, Mom was betting with her life that all those multiple lesions that the neuro-specialist at Pao Hospital had advised from a brain scan taken at Lourdes hospital, had been miraculously frozen and could no longer hurt You. 

The shadows might remain on the scan, and that was what the doctors had seen, but the body would soon clear them out of the system, she had managed to convince herself.

Aunt Laura had shared an encouraging thought with Mom after the doctor's frightening announcement at Pao, "that God would have shut the mouths of those lesions. Have faith."

Just like the biblical story of Daniel who was thrown into a den that was filled with hungry lions. God had sealed the mouths of the lions so that Daniel would not be harmed. Mom found herself clinging on to God's promise with every fiber in her being that your lions too had been tamed by the good Lord.

How else could she carry on if there were no hope?

She would do all she could to the best of her ability to keep the slightest spark of whatever hope there was, alive and burning.

For her son, there must continue to be hope. 

 

Justine and You at Grandma's birthday dinner in May 2009.

DOT 201 : PLAN

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

"You know why I wrote that line on the last page?"

Mom raised the question.

You replied, 

"Because You don't know when I'm gonna get the miracle ..."

"Yes, that's right ... and You know what? We don't have to know when. As long as we haven't got the miracle, we haven't reached our destination and our journey continues. Okay?"

Mom was careful to emphasize that, this, was only a journey. 

"We don't care how long it's gonna take us, we just have to know deep in our hearts that everything will be okay in the end ... and if it's not okay, it's not the end yet," she finished firmly.

Silence ...

"That's the plan, okay? You like the plan?" Mom asked.

"Yeah ..." Your lazy smile was back.

"Remember Daniel, it's just water You have in your head," Mom reminded confidently. 

It wasn't exactly the truth but it wasn't a lie either.

 

May 29, 2009 ... At Grandma's birthday dinner at Italiannies, Gardens.

DOT 200 : QUIT

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

After awhile, You turned around. 

"I have decided ..." You paused momentarily.

Mom turned to look at You, propping herself up on her elbow.

"I'm not gonna quit," You finished with a grim, that was quickly replaced with a little, almost reluctant smile. Mom reached over and gave your hand a little squeeze. The Holy Spirit was / is definitely working in You.

"Praise God, Daniel. That's my boy. There's nothing to quit. We'll just carry on, and do what we have to do, and leave the rest to Jesus. We'll do our part and God will do His part. When it's time to go home, Mother Mary will tell us, then we'll go home ..."

Our spirits were somehow recharged. You nodded in agreement. More importantly, your smile was back to light up your face.

Mom reached out for her pink journal, and said to You, 

"Why don't we do this ..."

Flipping over to the back page of her journal, she scribbled these words down as she read each word out aloud :

"Daniel - receives - his - miracle - in - the - end."

Taken on Sept 28, 2009.

Aunty Diana was with us then for 4 days.