DOT 215 : COMICAL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

 
At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes    

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 28/9/2009) 
 
Day 19 in Lourdes
 
NOVENA DAY 11




Your aunt got your attention all right.
 
You grabbed the PSP eagerly with both hands, and started inspecting it with delight. 

At one point, You gave a sudden jerk forward, before peering closely at the gadget, your eyes wide open like You had spotted something You were about to complaint about.

Squinting to scrutinize even more intensely, You let out a loud wail that there were some scratches on the screen protector. 

Your dramatic howl made Aunt Diana laughed. 

She responded by saying You would have to take that up with Aunt Carol and Justine, because they were playing with your PSP before she packed it in her luggage.

Attempting to erase the marks You saw, You pulled at the bottom of your tee shirt and started to rub the screen furiously. 

The marks were stubborn, and would not disappear. 

Your facial expression showing child-like frustration somehow appeared comical in the eyes of your aunt, causing her to throw her head back and laughed heartily. 

Dad and Mom grinned from ear to ear. 

When was the last time we laughed so much?

When?

Seriously, when?

Your mother inhaled deeply, filling her lungs gladly with the freshest, sweetest, crispiest air, she could find in France.
 
Oh, today was a beautiful, beautiful day indeed!    

 

Aunty D took this photo of us. 

We spent the afternoon in the Son ...

DOT 214 : PSP

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

 
At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes    

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 28/9/2009) 
 
Day 19 in Lourdes
 
NOVENA DAY 11




We arrived at the hotel at 1:30 pm. 

Walking into the TV lounge where You were still having your lunch, with your back facing us, Aunt Diana tip-toed towards You, and let out a surprise, "Hi Dans!" before throwing her arms around You, from the back, giving You a big squeeze, and a peck on the cheek.

You calmly turned to her and replied gruffly, 

"Hi, Aunty Diana ..." before turning back to your food and continued eating your lunch.

Mom chided impatiently, 

"Daniel, why don't You stand up and say Hi properly?"

Today, You were able to stand. 

Hurray for that. 

Hearing Mom's firm tone, You pushed your chair back, and slowly stood up. Turning to your aunt, You bent down to give her a big hug. 

That made her day.

And Mom's.

Watching You both, Mom felt a sudden burst of emotional wave that crashed against her painfully before subsiding gradually. Standing by the side of the table, she watched silently as Aunt Diana brought out the much awaited PSP. 

You were wearing the pink tee shirt that day,
the one with the words FREE printed on it,

and happily showing off your new PSP.

DOT 213 : BOLLYWOOD

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

 
At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes    

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 28/9/2009) 
 
Day 19 in Lourdes
 
NOVENA DAY 11



It was noon. 

We were back at the hotel. 

Dad was preparing some lunch for You. 

You were at the TV room.

Meanwhile, Uncle Peter drove Mom to the train station. 

At the station, Mom was breathless in anticipation, looking at every passenger that came down from the train coaches. Aunt Diana took her time in making an entrance as she descended slowly from the very last coach. 

Hurrying towards your aunt, Mom yelled out her name. 

Aunt Diana waved. 

For the next few seconds, there was the Bollywood drama as both your aunt and mother half-ran, half-walked towards each other, with arms wide open, and oh, don't forget the emotional embrace that followed afterward. 

Picture all that in slow motion, will You please?

After the informal introduction between Uncle Peter and Aunt Diana, we were on our way back to the hotel. 

Breakfast the next morning with Aunty D.

DOT 212 : MAGICAL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 28/9/2009) 

Day 19 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 11

 

A lump appeared in your mother's throat.

Allow her to take a moment to breathe that line in. 

I -- feel -- great -- today ...

Pause to reflect.

What a magical line ...

If only You knew the impact of that seemingly simple sentence on Mom and Dad. 

It was so very good to hear You say that. 

Inwardly thanking Our Lady with all her heart for your well-being, Mom found herself repeating that line over and over again in her head, so as to hold on to that magical moment for as long as she could, while Dad and her continued to watched You from a bench nearby.

I feel great today ...

"Yes, You're so gonna feel great every day from now on," Mom heard herself muttering firmly under her breath, as an overwhelming sense of fierce instinct to protect her son swept over her, an instinct only a mother could relate and understand.

 

  On Christmas Eve, your birthday (and Dad's) in 2008.

DOT 211 : RAYS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)
 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 28/9/2009) 

Day 19 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 11

 

It truly was a beautiful, sunny day that day. 

After saying our prayers, we headed to our usual spot beyond the stream, to bask in the sun for a bit. 

During these moments in the sun, it would appear to Mom that God is shining His holy rays down on You. 

Who could blame her? 

You always looked so contented and at peace resting in the Son, a delicate moment so beautiful to watch. Even though at a distance, Mom could sit there all day long, just gazing at that sight - forever.

At one point, Dad walked over to You.  

Mom followed right behind.

Dad removed your blankets. 

You brought your knees up, as You clasped your hands together, looking very happy and relaxed. 

You turned to Mom with a half-smile on your beautiful face, and said, 

"I feel great today ..."

 

 Taken at the mall.

 

DOT 210 : FANTABULOUS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Monday 28/9/2009) 

Day 19 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 11

 

Today, the sun was somehow shining a little brighter.

The rays were definitely warmer. 

The sky was very much clearer. 

We got up much fresher today than the previous days. The best part was having You wake up and said that You felt well. 

There was an unmistakable air of excitement in the room as Mom brought your breakfast tray to You.

Aunt Diana will soon be here. 

Your aunt has arrived at the Paris airport, and had taken another short flight to Pao. As it is only a twenty minute train ride from Pao to Lourdes, Aunt Diana would be at the Lourdes station at about 12:30 noon. 

Oh, we were so looking forward to seeing her.

After breakfast, Dad and Mom took You on the carriage for your usual morning bath. Today, we walked with a little lighter spring in our steps. 

As for You, well ... You had a ready smile for every person we met on the road. There was literally a perpetual smile on your happy face. 

It was certainly going to be a fantabulous day, we could feel it already. 

After the bath, Dad pushed your cart to the candle area, where we lit some candles, before heading to the grotto.

 

 

DOT 209 : HAPPY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Sunday 27/9/2009) 

Day 18 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 10

 

Michelle and Sophia left about an hour later.

We had embraced and deep in her heart, Mom had to admit she was touched and was grateful for their kind friendship. 

After all, they were strangers. 

They did not have to spend their time with us. 

It is true, that often ... very often ... God uses an unfamiliar, seemingly insignificant, person to carry out His mighty works.

You went for the bath at 2 pm that day.

While Mom and You spent some time at the grotto and thereafter relaxed and rested beyond the stream, Dad went back to the hotel to meet up with Uncle Peter. He was taking Dad to the pharmacy to get your medication which had finished this morning.

Dad came back to meet us at 4:15 pm and said he managed to get the steroids.

As usual, we attended the Blessed Sacrament at 5 pm and Holy Mass at 6 pm, before we went back to the hotel for dinner. You felt better and was able to join us at the dining hall this evening. 

After dinner, we wrote an email home to Justine. Mom started the email greetings and You took over.

You were in a happy mood tonight.

Aunt Diana would be here tomorrow. :D

 

  Mom, Aunty D, You and Justine reading a sign on a tree 

at A' Farmosa, Malacca in April 2009.

DOT 208 : DEAL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Sunday 27/9/2009) 

Day 18 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 10

 

A Priest ...

That was far, far, far from your "What I'd like to be when I grow up" ambition.

The holy idea came about during a very desperate negotiation Mom had with God. 

A plea, a deal, she had attempted to struck with God. What else could she do to entice God to see things her way? 

Of course, she had ignored whatever little voice that appeared in her head, telling her that :

"We cannot tell God what to do. No one tells God what to do. We can only pray that our will is in accordance to God's will, because God's thoughts are not our thoughts. His ways are not our ways."

Still, that did not stop her determined efforts to pester and bug the Lord - continuously. She would do whatever it takes to persuade God to see things her way.

At times when she felt very alone, and could not feel God near at all, she would turn to and cry to Our Lady. 

Your Son is being very unreasonable. What could Your Son possibly want with my son? What could my son possibly do for Your Son up there that he cannot do down here? 

Please Mother Mary, I'm begging You, from a mother to a Mother, please talk to Your Son. Let my son be well and I promise You, my son will serve Your Son for the rest of his life. 

He can be a priest if that's what it takes. 

He can be a priest.

And that's how the priest idea came about. 

 

  You, Mom and Justine on our 2nd day at the grotto.

DOT 207 : PRIEST

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Sunday 27/9/2009) 

Day 18 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 10

 

Michelle had expressed, in an unhurried and soft spoken manner, 

"Do not be discouraged. The challenges in front of us always seem impossible, but when we receive the graces, and we look back, it would seem very small ..."

Pause ...

Yeah, small ... like a dot.

An insignificant dot.

Mom found herself being comforted by their warm support, friendly presence and encouraging words. It was as though two angels had dropped by to pay her a visit and to lend her some strength. 

They had apparently heard about your wanting to become a priest when You recovered, and both said with much enthusiasm that they would pray for You to be well enough to realize that purpose.

A moment's silence.

Priest?

Oh ... 

Oh that ... 

Mom acknowledged awkwardly.

Casting her eyes downwards, Mom was guiltily silent and could not make a comment on that.

 

Picture taken on Sept 12, 2009.

Mass at the grotto.

DOT 206 : FELLOWSHIP

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Sunday 27/9/2009) 

Day 18 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 10

 

Grandma called at 6:30 am in the morning.

Uncle Peter (owner of the hotel), before putting the call through to our room, had said over the phone, 

"It's your mother ..."

Mom did not take the call as she did not want to disturb You. The phone was by our beds. 

You were not well this morning. You had just taken your medication and gone back to sleep. 

Mom told Uncle Peter to inform Grandma to call back later. She did, an hour later, to tell Mom that Aunt Diana will be flying over tonight from Kuala Lumpur, and arriving in Lourdes tomorrow noon.

An instant sense of comfort filled your mother's heart, mind and soul, upon hearing that.

It was 9:30 am.

Dad had gone for Mass with Uncle Peter.

Sophia, the Korean girl, and Michelle, the Malaysia girl (who fasted and prayed for You the day she heard about You from Aunt Laura), came over to the hotel to pay You a visit. 

Mom informed that You were still sleeping.

We spent some fellowship time together and had coffee in the TV lounge. 

Michelle, in the course of our conversation, said some words that Mom felt, had a sprinkling of divine influence. Surely, Mother Mary must have sent her to say those words of comfort.

Taken on Sept 29, 2009.

Aunty D's second day with us.

DOT 205 : DIARY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

You scribbled the following in Mom's pink diary that night, laying chest down on the bed, your elbows propping yourself up. Mom was right beside You, resting on the bed, whispering a note of thanks to Our Lady that You were well enough to - write. :D

 

By Daniel ... Saturday

Actually, the first thing (You underlined first) I'm gonna do is to check out my brand new PSP. Of course it won't be brand BRAND new once Justine is done with it. THEN, I'll jam all night with Dad on my elec guitar. :D

I'm thinking of getting Jus a new fone - one with bluetooth AND infared bc she's always complainin' about the phone she has now to me. Not that You got her a bad phone, Dad, if you're reading this. Hopefully, she'll be happy with the fone I'm gonna get her.

I'm thinking to get Aunty D and C something nice for Christmas as well. But I can't give Aunty D a phone bc I can't compete with da fones she gets from her bfs. I dun really know what Aunty C likes tho. That's right, this year is all about giving (underlined giving).

I received enough this year - the PSP, elec guitar. I'm quite disappointed that I'm not sitting for PMR. Me and Jus were supposed 2 gt laptops. But actually part of me is quite relieved - I mean I couldn't really prepare for PMR.

Mom just told me 2 rite abt my experience in da baths. It's actually basically me going into ice-freezing water. But every time I go in, I get a little better - I'm happier, I feel better and I just feel like huggin' everyone I see. Julian gave me a snow globe today he said "Whenever you pray, always think of our Lady of Lourdes." This is the 1st time I'm doing this and I feel less of a man ... But 2 be honest, this beats lying down any day. Well mom is sleeping and I guess I should too.

Mother Mary, Immaculate Conseption, Our Lady of Lourdes, help us all to get a goodnights rest so that we may wake up full of life to go to the Grotto tomorrow and pls help me to get better so that I may join Mom and Dad to walk to the Grotto without having to take any trammal (painkiller) and without any pain. That's my goal. Maybe, MAYBE, I'll write again tmr.

C U then.

Chiaozzz ...

Daniel

 

 Taken on Sept 30, 2009.

You struck a few dramatic poses to show, as well as to entertain, 

your Aunty D that You were feeling much better since she arrived. 

We were in the living room of the hotel.

You had us in fits. :D

 

DOT 204 : SCRIBBLE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

You hesitated. 

Mom began, "Just say anything that comes to your mind ..."

You remained silent.

Your mother encouraged further, "If You know for sure that EVERYTHING You say now is going to happen when we get back home, what would You like to see happen?"

You appeared to be thinking.

Mom prompted, as she started scribbling the words, 

"The first thing I'm gonna do is ..."

You took it from there ... Mom continued scribbling as You started to dictate your thoughts out loud.

You said, "The first thing I'm gonna do is to jam all night. I'm going to say HI to Kish. I'm going to keep all my neat gifts in my room, all the rosaries and globe, on my table so I can see them always ..."

At this point, Mom asked if You wanted to write yourself ... and You gladly grabbed the pen and the journal and started scribbling away ... :D

 

Hello Kish ... :D

Kish saw You that night after we left your body in church ... Your family know this to be true ... You followed us home ... When Kish came in through the door with Aunt C, Kish was so very excited ... bouncing and bouncing and bouncing ... and panting and panting and panting ... she couldn't be still ... like she had a little fire cracker that was going off inside her ... We couldn't concentrate on our prayers, she was a major distraction ... prancing around and trying to jump on us like she wanted to tell us something ... 

Mom thinks, if Kish could talk, she would have said, "Daniel's here! Daniel's here! He's surrounded by stars! It's so bright! Can't you people see him? He's here!" Honestly, we have never seen her behave in that manner before, and after that one time, she never behaved that way again. That's because Jesus raised You up on the third day as He promised He would. Now You are safe with the Lord. Praise JESUS for that.

DOT 203 : DISTRACTION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

After dinner that night, Dad went to the grotto.

We had attended the Blessed Sacrament that evening at 5 pm followed by the Holy Mass at 6 pm. You had stayed in the TV room after a late lunch, and was watching an American TV show in French. 

That night, Mom was with You in the room. 

After reading a few chapters of The Life Of Mary, with You listening very intently, Mom closed the book and put it aside.

She reached for her floral pink journal on the bedside desk, found a pen, and posed a question.

"What is the first thing You want to do when You get home?"

Mom wanted to create a little excitement for You as a - distraction. 

She felt it was important for You to be able to see beyond our impossible circumstance during that challenging period the last few days and to look forward to something nice that You might want to do.

On your birthday (and Dad's) on Christmas Eve, 2008.

Justine, Aunty Carol and You at Grandma's house.

DOT 202 : LIONS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

At the time of uttering that assurance, Mom was betting with her life that all those multiple lesions that the neuro-specialist at Pao Hospital had advised from a brain scan taken at Lourdes hospital, had been miraculously frozen and could no longer hurt You. 

The shadows might remain on the scan, and that was what the doctors had seen, but the body would soon clear them out of the system, she had managed to convince herself.

Aunt Laura had shared an encouraging thought with Mom after the doctor's frightening announcement at Pao, "that God would have shut the mouths of those lesions. Have faith."

Just like the biblical story of Daniel who was thrown into a den that was filled with hungry lions. God had sealed the mouths of the lions so that Daniel would not be harmed. Mom found herself clinging on to God's promise with every fiber in her being that your lions too had been tamed by the good Lord.

How else could she carry on if there were no hope?

She would do all she could to the best of her ability to keep the slightest spark of whatever hope there was, alive and burning.

For her son, there must continue to be hope. 

 

Justine and You at Grandma's birthday dinner in May 2009.

DOT 201 : PLAN

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

"You know why I wrote that line on the last page?"

Mom raised the question.

You replied, 

"Because You don't know when I'm gonna get the miracle ..."

"Yes, that's right ... and You know what? We don't have to know when. As long as we haven't got the miracle, we haven't reached our destination and our journey continues. Okay?"

Mom was careful to emphasize that, this, was only a journey. 

"We don't care how long it's gonna take us, we just have to know deep in our hearts that everything will be okay in the end ... and if it's not okay, it's not the end yet," she finished firmly.

Silence ...

"That's the plan, okay? You like the plan?" Mom asked.

"Yeah ..." Your lazy smile was back.

"Remember Daniel, it's just water You have in your head," Mom reminded confidently. 

It wasn't exactly the truth but it wasn't a lie either.

 

May 29, 2009 ... At Grandma's birthday dinner at Italiannies, Gardens.

DOT 200 : QUIT

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

After awhile, You turned around. 

"I have decided ..." You paused momentarily.

Mom turned to look at You, propping herself up on her elbow.

"I'm not gonna quit," You finished with a grim, that was quickly replaced with a little, almost reluctant smile. Mom reached over and gave your hand a little squeeze. The Holy Spirit was / is definitely working in You.

"Praise God, Daniel. That's my boy. There's nothing to quit. We'll just carry on, and do what we have to do, and leave the rest to Jesus. We'll do our part and God will do His part. When it's time to go home, Mother Mary will tell us, then we'll go home ..."

Our spirits were somehow recharged. You nodded in agreement. More importantly, your smile was back to light up your face.

Mom reached out for her pink journal, and said to You, 

"Why don't we do this ..."

Flipping over to the back page of her journal, she scribbled these words down as she read each word out aloud :

"Daniel - receives - his - miracle - in - the - end."

Taken on Sept 28, 2009.

Aunty Diana was with us then for 4 days.