DOT 166 : BURN

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

Why did she not realize that God had already called You to "rise up and walk" that morning? 

After all, God had healed your spine. 

That is already a miracle. So where was her mustard sized faith when You got up and walked this morning? 

Where was it??? 

Why in God's name, did she have to keep on insisting on the wheelchair? She should have claimed that second miracle, walked with her son to the grotto, instead of taking the wheelchair. 

Perhaps, perhaps ... that was the turning point. 

Perhaps God put her to the test ... a test which she obviously failed, she thought miserably.

If only she could turn back the clock - She would burn the wheelchair. 

Yes, if only, if only - the two saddest words in the English vocabulary. 

 

 In Malacca (April 2009).

Justine, You, Mom and Aunty Diana ... walking.

 

 

 

TAKE ME OUT OF THE DARK 

click on title to view video

DOT 165 : MUSTARD

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

After lunch, we made our way to the bath.

The afternoon session would start at 2 pm. We took the wheelchair out, even though You said You were okay to walk there. Dad and Mom felt it could be a long day, and You might be tired later. 

Also, there might not be an empty seat by the grotto, as it was always packed with pilgrims, so taking the wheelchair just made good sense.

On hindsight ... 

It might have been good sense then, but perhaps by taking the wheelchair, your mother did not and could not show God that she had the faith as big as a mustard seed. Had she had faith as big as a tiny dot of a mustard seed, we would have just walked to the grotto as You did, this morning. 

However, we did not. She could almost hear Jesus hurling the words at her as he did to the fishermen who woke Him up during that bad storm, "You men of little faith ..."

Mom was worried that You might be tired. For that reason, Mom insisted on taking the wheelchair. God must have been shaking His head as she did so.

"You woman of little faith ..."

 

 Taken on 13/9/2009.

DOT 164 : BOY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

It was only a simple tub of yoghurt and You reacted like your mother had brought over a large tray of designer cupcakes. Don't even get her started about your enthusiasm over a simple fried egg. 

It is because of You, the family is now learning how to appreciate and be grateful for the simple pleasures that life brings.

Later, as Mom was clearing the kitchen counter, and washing the dishes at the sink, she found herself being pulled into deep, deep thought. 

So much has happened in the last few days. 

Oh, it was so good to see You like this. Up and about, strolling to the sanctuary on your own, walking back for lunch, talking about your day like a normal, healthy boy.

Please let him be like he is today, every day, dear God. 

A normal, healthy boy.

That was all You have ever wanted to be.

 

 You with one of your church buddies, 

and Justine on the right, during a church camp in June 2009.

 

 

 

DOT 163 : CHARMING

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

Thinking aloud to herself ... 

Mom thought that perhaps people were looking at You because, they had recognized You as the boy on the stretcher - carriage and could have been surprised to see You on your feet. 

On top of that, You were walking alone by yourself. 

You were hard to miss. 

After all, there were not many Asean faces at the sanctuary, and seeing a young teenager on a carraige amongst the crowd of religious pilgrims the past few days, You could have easily stood out, especially when You were laying horizontally on a stretcher - carriage.

Mom was absolutely certain You would have touched a heart or two whilst You were at the grotto this morning.

Yes, in your own charming way.

Your eyes widened dramatically when You saw your dessert. 

Letting out an excited yelp of "awe-sommme," You eagerly grabbed the tub from your mother and starting to peel the seal off.

Mom smiled. 

How do You do it, she wondered. 

 

 Keeping Mom company as she enjoyed a cuppa coffee. 

We were in Genting Highlands during Chinese New Year 2009.

 

DOT 162 : HUMOUR

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

"Everyone was looking at me ..."

You said, chewing on your food. 

"I don't know why ..." You continued uncertainly.

Finally, the much awaited table conversation was emerging. 

"They were probably staring because you're the only one out there in this weather without a jacket," Mom reasoned. 

You chuckled and said, "Maybe ..."

"Or maybe because they are just looking at your handsome face," Mom teased lightly.

You nodded and replied in good humour, 

"Yeah, I think so. That must be it ..."

Mom laughed. 

She did not see how You cleverly manipulated the situation, and somehow brought the interrogation to an end, with that witty response. 

Mom left it at that and did not pursue anymore. Sitting there in silence, your mother watched You finished your lunch happily. Your appetite was good, she noticed. 

Mom stood up, walked over to the kitchen, to get You a small tub of tutti-fruity yoghurt.

 

 Photo taken on March, 2009 in church compound.

Getting ready for youth activities.

DOT 161 : FORGOT

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

You straightened up and frowned in confusion. 

"No, I forgot," You said, shaking your head like You couldn't understand why You did what You did. 

"You forgot to look for Dad?" Mom repeated.

"Yeah ..." You grimaced. 

Even You must have thought that reply was somewhat strange. 

As Mom tried not to paralyze her mind by over-analyzing all the evidence before her, she had to smile as she watched You tackle your salmon fish. 

You were trying to squeeze a slice of lemon with your fork and spoon. You did not want to dirty your fingers.

So, let's see ...

You walked to the grotto to look for Dad ... apparently ... but when You got there, You forgot that You went there to look for him? 

Interesting, Mom thought as she rated her own findings.

Very interesting, she mused ...

 

 This is the front entrance to the hotel.

You used this entrance when You went out that morning on your own.

DOT 160 : STRATEGY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

"You just took off suddenly, Daniel. You could have at least told me before You left the hotel. We were worried." 

The last line was thrown in to inflict a little bit of guilt in You, so Mom could justify all the heavy probing. 

A good strategy, your mother thought, to gently persuade You to cooperate and communicate better.

"I don't know ... I just walked there ..." 

You replied simply.

Ahah! Did she smell a ra ... spaghetti marinara somewhere?

"You didn't know You were walking to the grotto?" Mom asked slowly.

"No, I know ... but I don't know why," You explained. 

"I think I went there to look for Dad." You finally decided to come up with the most logical reason You could think of.

"So, did You find Dad?" Mom pounced deliberately.

 

Picture taken on 29/9/2009.

Mom on the laptop, Aunty Diana was with us.

This is the table where the um, interrogation, took place. :D

DOT 159 : PERHAPS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

Instead You said, "I - didn't - hear - Her - call - me."

Which could also be interpreted as:

"She called me, but I didn't hear."

Perhaps no words were spoken. 

Perhaps She did not speak, and perhaps that was why You did not hear. Perhaps it was Her heart that did the talking. 

Yes, perhaps Her heart called out to You, and perhaps your heart heard. 

Perhaps, You answered immediately by dropping whatever You were doing, and obediently went to Her. 

Yes, perhaps perhaps perhaps ...

Surely it is not difficult to believe that these "perhaps" incidences could have happened. 

This is after all the territory of The Immaculate Conception, is this not? Mother Mary Herself had appeared at this very place 18 times from the months of February to July, in the year 1858, did She not?

You yourself have received your first miracle on the unexplained healing of your prolapsed disc, which was confirmed by before and after scans, did You not?

Anything can happen with the Mother of God. 

Nothing is impossible.

Perhaps ...

 

Video on Marian Procession. Taken on 24/9/2009.

Mom was with the choir at the Basilica entrance. 

Dad and You were following the crowd in procession.

Apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes

Website : Our Catholic Faith

DOT 158 : CALL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

"Daniel, did Mother Mary call You?"

You did not so much as flicker an eyelash at the question. 

You merely looked up at your mother and said, 

"I didn't hear Her call me."

Hearing that response was an anti-climax. 

Mom drew in a deep breath. 

Now what.

A few seconds must have passed before a little voice suddenly made itself heard in her head.

Wait a minute. 

You gave Mom a string of no, no, nos in her previous questions, but when it came to this question about Mama Mary, You chose to answer differently? 

You specifically said, "I didn't hear Her call me ..." 

Which could mean, "I could have heard her call me, but I didn't at the material time ..."

You could have easily just said no, like You did to the previous questions.

No?

 

 Justine took this photo (11/9/2009) of You at the Basilica.

A quiet moment in church.

DOT 157 : INTERROGATION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

You waited at the lounge while Mom went to get your lunch tray. She seated herself opposite You, at a table meant for four diners.

Mom was determined to find out everything about that walk. Now that You were alone with your mother, You might just open up, she thought. 

And so the interrogation began.

"Where did You go just now?" 

That question was worthy of repeat, she felt.

"I told You, I went to the grotto," You replied, with your mouth full.

Pause.

"Daniel, is there anything You want to tell me?" Mom probed.

"No," You said, chewing on your food, and avoiding your mother's eyes.

"Anything that I should know?" She pressed on.

"No," You repeated, concentrating on your lunch.

"Isn't there anything, anything at all, that You want to say?" Your mother tried to evoke a better response. 

Your monosyllable answers were unacceptable.

"No," You said again, much to your mother's frustration. 

Well, okay, fine ... since You seemed to have difficulty elaborating, your mother would just have to go straight to the point. She only need to ask You one leading question.

Just one.

 

 Photo taken on 28/9/2009.

Aunty Diana was with us. You entertained us with several poses. :D

DOT 156 : ADVENTURE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

"Where did You go, Daniel?"

Mom asked almost sternly, as You casually walked through the entrance of the hotel, like it was the most natural thing to do. 

You flashed a brilliant smile. 

Aunt Laura and Uncle Peter stood by the stairway that led to the entrance of the hotel, amusement written on their faces. We were all eager to hear what You had to say.

"I went to the grotto to look for Dad," You replied with a grin. 

You appeared excited with your little adventure, and the excitement shone in your face. Whoever said that You had a terminal condition with multiple lesions in your brain, should have seen You then. It really was a big achievement, because the last 4 days, You had to be pushed, laying down, on your carriage.

"Why didn't You let us know?" Mom demanded, although secretly thrilled that You were well enough to ... to rise up and walk.

"I'm sorry, Mom," You replied solemnly. 

Yes, she thought You might say that. You always knew how to soften Mom up ... by apologizing first before she gave the long lecture. Any angry words thereafter would automatically be replaced by a mild, gentle warning. 

If Mom thought You would give her some intimate details about your walk, she was mistaken. You did not offer any explanation. Instead, You announced that You were hungry, and managed to divert all attention from yourself to lunch.

 

At Grandma's (Dad's mother) home in Kuantan 

during Chinese New Year (Feb 2009).

You loved her Hainanese Chicken Rice and special chilly sauce.

DOT 155 : QUICK

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

Dad had wasted no time and had ran to the staircase, stopping by every floor. From the numbered lights that showed where the lift was going, Mom was able to tell which floors your lift had stopped, and she would frantically communicate that to Dad on the cell phone. 

Seventh floor ... Check seventh floor ... QUICK!

Oh no, it's going down again ...

Stopping on third floor now. 

Third floor. Hurry up, hurry up, check third floor etc. 

Dad had not been able to get to the floors fast enough before it went down again. It took forever for the lift to go back up.

When the lift finally came up again and the doors opened, Mom saw You standing there quietly by yourself. 

You had not moved. 

You stood there with your big, wide eyes. 

Your mother had cried out with relief. 

She had rushed in, picked You up, and squeezed the daylights out of You. :D 

Yes, that fraction of a second moment when she spotted You still standing in the lift, the same position just before the doors shut closed, but not before giving her a brief glimpse of You, THAT was one moment that your mother would never forget.

Not ever.

Taken on 24/12/2008 ... 

Christmas Eve and your 14th birthday.

DOT 154 : LIFT

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

This brings Mom to an incident which happened when You were about 2 years old at one of the service apartments during a family trip. 

You were running ahead of Dad, Mom and Justine, and You somehow managed to get into the lift before us, despite your parents hurrying behind You. We were absolutely horrified when the lift CLOSED its doors in our faces.

Mom had been frantic and remembers slamming the buttons repeatedly to get the lift to open, shouting in panic, through the impenetrable metal doors.

"DON'T GET OUT, DANIEL! STAY IN THE LIFT! DON'T GET OUT! JUST STAY THERE! STAY THERE! STAY THERE, UNDERSTAND? DON'T MOVE, STAY THERE! DAD WILL GET YOU! STAY IN THE LIFT! DON'T GET OUT!" 

Mom had shouted repeatedly, pressing her ear against the lift, and straining her hardest to hear something ... anything.

She had heard nothing.

 

 Photo taken on 14/12/2008 in IKEA.

Shopping with You around was always a lot of fun.

We laughed so hard when You were trying to 

squeeze yourself in this cocoon storage basket.

DOT 153 : ANCHOR

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

"There! There he is! He's back!" 

Mom exclaimed from the TV lounge. 

Oh, thank God. 

Through the large glass windows, your mother saw your head bobbing past. The lounge was on a higher floor. Mom sprang from the sofa and hurried to the entrance. Half and hour had gone by since your sudden disappearance. 

Although Mom was not overly worried by your taking off unannounced, she was still fidgeting in her seat, and could not help but feel somewhat impatient for your return.

One of your parents had to remain at the anchor place, and that was Mom. That has always been the rule of the family since Justine and You were little. Go back to where You were last at with Dad or Mom, should You ever get lost in a public place. 

Or stay where You are if You have forgotten how to go back to where You were, and just wait for Dad or Mom to get You.

So Mom waited at the anchor place, the hotel. 

Dad would have to go look for You ... except that he did not have to since You had returned.

Our Hotel Room Key.

DOT 152 : SAFE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

There was no cause for alarm.

Uncle Peter appeared about ten minutes later and said he couldn't find You. Aunt Laura told him not to worry, and assured Mom that, You couldn't have gone far. 

"Besides ..." she continued, 

"this is Mother Mary's territory. He's safe here." 

Mom's thoughts exactly.

Dad had gone to the grotto earlier that morning. 

Uncle Peter had in fact bumped into Dad while searching for You at the grotto, and had asked your father, 

"Have you seen Daniel?" 

to which Dad apparently responded, 

"Which Daniel?" 

Dad was unsure as to whom Uncle Peter was referring to. It did not occur to your father that Uncle Peter was referring to You.

Uncle Peter told your surprised father, 

"YOUR Daniel ... He walked out of the hotel on his own. We've been looking for him but we can't find him ..."

 

 The Underground Basilicca.

Photo taken on Sept 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm.

At all times when You were here, You were on a stretcher - carriage right in front 

of the altar. The photo was taken as we were wheeling You to the front.

DOT 151 : GRATITUDE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Tuesday 22/9/2009) 

Day 13 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 5

 

A message would soon flash across her mind. 

Mom was suddenly enlightened that You had walked to the grotto. It was quite chilly, and You had gone a-strolling clad only in a thin cotton tee shirt. 

Uncle Peter, the owner of the hotel, happened to be around at the moment. Mom related what had happened, that she could not find You. Surprisingly, she was calm and not at all gripped with anxiety as she thought she would be. 

Her son had after all gone walking by himself in a foreign land and only God knows his physical condition was anything but predictable. Wasn't that cause for worry?

Strangely no.

Mother Mary must have called him, she reasoned to herself. 

He must have dropped everything that he was doing at the time, which was probably watching an episode of I-Carly in French on television, and obediently went to Her. 

A comforting warmness filled her heart at the thought. 

Mom smiled to herself, and quickly sent a telephatic mesage of hearfelt thanks to the Immaculate Conception. 

A note of gratitude, from a mother to a Mother. 

As long as he was at the sanctuary with Our Lady, she knew he'd be safe. 

 

Justine and You walking back to the hotel from the grotto, 

on our 2nd day.