DOT 139 : SANCTUARY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

 

Aunt Laura had packed three sets of macaroni and chicken, and three bananas. Dad suggested we had our lunch beyond the river, opposite the grotto.

We turned your chariot around and steered You towards the exit.

It was strange that the minute You were out of the Sanctuary, You began to complaint about a headache. 

You were there at the Sanctuary the whole morning, and You were fine. The instant the grotto is out of sight, your headache came. 

Mom remembered with a grimace what Aunt Laura had said, that the devil can be anywhere and is everywhere EXCEPT the Sanctuary.

Mom took out your pills. 

You popped them in your mouth and gulped down a mouthful of spring water. 

Then, we went across the bridge to the other side of the river, and parked your chariot beneath a shady tree, overlooking Our Lady at the grotto. 

The scenery before us was breathtaking and soulfully peaceful from where we were at.

It truly felt like heaven here on earth. 

Several times, Mom found herself wishing if only we could stay there ...

Forever. 

 

We miss You so much, Daniel. 

(Photo taken Sept 29,2009)

 

DOT 138 : MOTHER

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

 

It was about 2:30 pm then.

As Mom was about to exit Sanctuary, she turned back to take a quick look at Dad and You. Seeing You in a happy mood, not in pain, talking to Dad cheerfully, and looking quite your normal self although You were lying down in the chariot, made her vision blurred instantly. 

She turned around abruptly, brushing away the tears that betrayed her emotions with the back of a hurried hand. She half sprint, half jogged, half walked, all the way back to the hotel, with only thoughts of her son in her mind.

Mom bumped into Aunt Laura at the reception area. 

Aunt Laura prepared a lunch pack for us. 

She was all ears as Mom briefed her about everything that happened that morning. 

"She knows," Aunt Laura said confidently, 

"She knows exactly what you are going through. She's a mother too ..."

Yes Mother Mary, You do know exactly what we are going through here.

Mom was back at the grotto some 45 minutes later. 

 

 This photo was taken on Sept 28, 2009. 

You were well enough to sit up that day. 

We would have most of our lunch picnics here, 

overlooking the grotto.

DOT 137 : EYES

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

 

The WCs were large enough to take in a stretcher - chariot so it was not a problem. 

You were able slowly prop yourself up to a sitting position, stand up, and get back on the chariot with ease. After that, Dad and Mom pushed You to the baths. 

It was almost 2 pm. 

The hospitaliers were happy to receive You, and immediately took over your chariot. Mom watched them pushed You through and beyond the curtains.

Dad sat by a bench whilst Mom leaned against the railing, directly opposite the entrance to the baths, so that she would be able to see You the minute You were out. 

Taking out our rosaries, we prayed silently. 

Before Mom could start on the first decade of the second mystery of the rosary, she saw the hospitaliers pushing your chariot out and parking it by the side of the waiting area. 

The first thing that caught Mom's eyes was your smile. 

You were smiling, and your eyes were wide open. 

You were looking around. 

Unlike the day before, your eyes were closed when they wheeled You out, and your facial expression was quite, quite tensed.

Dad suggested he and You stayed at the grotto whilst Mom went back to the hotel to get us some lunch. 

 

 Mom, Justine and You on our 2nd day in Lourdes 

at Mother Mary's territory.

DOT 136 : PRAY

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

 

It was a white and blue finger warmer she had knitted herself. 

We figured she knitted herself as she had knitting needles with her. Yes, white and blue ... and so very pretty. That would so match You when You’re chilling on a white cloud in a clear blue sky now.

Your reaction was genuinely one of boyish delight as You pulled it over your pointer finger, proudly showing it off to her, and exclaiming with sincere enthusiasm. 

“Thank you, Aunty ...” 

You called her Aunty. 

Mom is not sure whether these elderly French ladies are used to being called “Aunty” by young boys they just met, but judging from the unexpected smile that spread across her freckled face emphasizing her crinkly eyes, it would seem that You made her day.

She bent down toward You, and gave her parting words.

“Pray ...” she said, with a finger pointing towards the Immaculate Conception. 

“Pray ... okay?” she repeated softly, giving You a little affectionate squeeze on your arm.

“Okay ...” You replied obediently. 

Giving her another one of your brilliant smiles, You toyed with the finger warmer. 

You had given it a name but Mom cannot remember what it is now. 

It’s not in the journal either.

Oh well ...

Smile, please ... :D

DOT 135 : SMILE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

 

It must be mentioned here that whilst in Lourdes, You were known for your smiles. The hospitaliers and volunteers who knew You, which was not a surprise as we were there for 25 days, would always comment to Dad on your smile. 

He’s got a lovely smile ... 

It brightens up our day ... 

It’s the most beautiful smile in Lourdes ... 

Every time I see him at the baths, he never fail to give me that smile ... 

He reminds us all to smile ... 

I have never seen him without a smile ... 

are the few warm comments that we will always remember. 

You were quick to greet everyone with a bright grin and the occasional high five. It does not matter that You were lying flat down on a chariot. Clearly, the Holy Spirit is with You.

“Ah, Dah-nee- ell ...” 

Yvonne repeated your name in the local accent. 

She reached for your hand, and put a little woollen something into your palm. 

You held that something up. 

Arghhh ...  :D

DOT 134 : YVONNE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

 

“Pee ...” 

You whispered with a sheepish smirk on your face.

Pee? 

Oh, pee! Thank God You said “pee” and not “pain.”

Yeah, we all had to go pee. 

It was lunch hour and the crowd had dispersed. It was  easier to move your chariot out of the sanctuary then. 

The WCs were located near the bath area. 

Dad pushed your chariot and we slowly made our way there.

Earlier today ...

You were resting comfortably, so we stayed at the grotto while waiting for the afternoon bath session at 2 pm. 

We love the peacefulness and somehow found ourselves embracing wholeheartedly the overwhelming sense of security that seemed to envelop there. 

An old lady, with fine white hair, who had trouble walking, made her way slowly to You. 

You saw her from a short distance, and had a ready smile for her. She came and introduced herself to You. 

With one hand on her chest, she spoke slowly, 

“Me – Yvonne ... You?”

“Daniel ...” You replied with a wide smile.

Church Youths visiting a special home.

DOT 133 : WHISPER

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

Within a few seconds, for some reason, Mom found herself moving her hands towards the headrest of the chariot, squeezing a lever before yanking it down. 

Instantly, You stopped fidgeting. 

Sucking in her breath, Mom watched You. You stopped groaning and felt better. 

Mom was overwhelmed by that moment. 

How in the world did she know that that would help? 

Mother Mary must have whispered to her. 

Dad gave Mom a knowing glance of relief, and Mom returned one of, wonderment.

Mom, standing at the head of your chariot, whispered, 

“Did - you - see - that?”

Dad nodded silently. 

That split of a second moment was indescribable. 

A message had suddenly flashed across her mind, and she just knew what to do. It was surreal. 

A few minutes later, You complained again, 

“I can’t ... I can’t ... I wanna go home.” 

The headache was still there, You said restlessly. 

Mom instinctively lowered your headrest further, so that now your head was almost lying flat down, just very slightly raised from the body. 

You calmed down. 

After that, You were all good for the rest of the day.

About 1:45 pm, You turned over to Mom ...

Justine and You in Malacca. A Farmosa.

DOT 132 : WINCE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

It had started to drizzle as well, very light drops from heaven. 

“Headache, I wanna go back,” You said, screwing up your face in obvious pain. 

Dad said urgently, “We have to take him to the hospital.,”

We did not know what to do. 

We had just got there, and it was only Day 2 of our Novena. Mom did not want to break that and start all over again. Plus there was a crowd of pilgrims there, how do we move your chariot without causing a commotion? 

Mom panicked as You continued to wince in pain.

Plunging her hands urgently into her pocket, Mom pulled out her rosary. 

Her eyes were fixed helplessly on the Immaculate Conception, with an intensity only a mother can understand.

Mother Mary, tell me what to do to make him comfortable, she whispered urgently. You were moving about restlessly.

With her heart pounding loudly in her chest, she started to recite the Hail Mary. Your mother’s eyes never left the Immaculate Conception that was erected above the grotto. 

It was as if She is here, and She is. 


She truly is.

And She knows.

She knows everything that is happening to You. 

Taking some shots at the Genting Resort grounds.

DOT 131 : AGITATION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 19/9/2009) 

Day 10 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 2

It was a challenge to wake You up this morning.

You would not get up. 

You slept on and on and refused to wake up. 

However, after much persuasion for You to take some juice and brown rice cereal, You were finally awake. You changed after breakfast and we were soon in the car. 

Dad pushed the chariot to the grotto by foot, while Aunt Laura dropped Mom and You off by car.

By the time we arrived at the grotto, it was 11:15 am. 

The baths were closed at 11 am. 

This time, there were no one there to accept late-comers. So we had to wait for the afternoon session at 2 pm. Dad had to re-direct your chariot to the grotto, with Mom maneuvering in the front. 

We parked your chariot there, facing Our Lady. 

Although there were many people at the sanctuary that day, and every day while we were there, it was always quiet and serene.

It was not long after we parked your chariot, that You suddenly blurted out in agitation. 

“I wanna go back. I can’t. I wanna go back.” 

You were fidgeting and clearly in discomfort, but You still managed to speak in a low, controlled tone, so as not to cause any commotion. 

You never did like to attract attention to yourself. 

Genting Highlands (Chinese New Year 2009)

DOT 130 : HEAVEN

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

It was about 2:30 pm when we arrived at the hotel. 

Daniel went straight to the room, and fell asleep. 

He woke up about 5 pm. I fed him in bed. 

He’s okay lying down. 

Sitting up is a challenge – like what Diana said about Lumber Puncture and the low pressure that the patient would feel after.

So basically, the story is this. 

The doctors cannot do anything for him. 

I am a very desperate mother begging and pleading with Our Lady to take Daniel in Her care. I’m going to be here for awhile. He’s not in the condition to travel anyway. 

I feel very safe here, and secure. Besides, we won’t be able to go home just yet. We’re doing the 9 day Novena – and today is Day 1. 

Maybe you guys at home can do the same thing. Just take the rosary and pray. I’ve never prayed the rosary so much before. It’s like heaven here. It’s comforting to know that Mother Mary is just round the corner.

Justine, be good. We miss You. Daniel especially. He wants You to take care of his guitar. Laura has really helped a lot and is our source of strength here. I see Bryan kneeling in front of the grotto and saying the rosary and I’m totally overwhelmed. 

As I am writing this, Bryan has gone back to the grotto, to get another bottle of spring water. It’s raining but he went with an umbrella.

Love, Chare (sister)

 At the souvenir shops on our first day.

DOT 129 : WALK

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

Every half an hour or so, we would ask Daniel whether he wanted to go back to the hotel. 

He would say no. 

He wanted to stay there. He looked very peaceful and comfortable and we didn’t want to move him anyway. 

So, we stayed at the grotto for nearly 3 hours. 

We were going to wheel him back to the hotel in the chariot-stretcher, but Daniel said he wanted to walk.

Laura had joined us then, and she was like, WALK? 

Imagine what everyone would say if he suddenly got up and WALKED, she whispered. There was always a huge crowd at the sanctuary, where we were at. 

As it really was quite a distance to walk, he finally agreed to go back to the hotel in the wheel chair. 

He is able to take a few steps, but not walk all the way from the grotto to the hotel, I don’t think. Even I pant at the thought of that. 

I think he suggested walking because he didn’t want to be pushed all the way back lying in the chariot.

At the grotto, a man gave him a beautiful rosary blessed by the Pope. People walked up to him and touched his head, telling him they would pray for him etc. 

One old man placed kisses on him. 

I thought Daniel might make a face or roll his eyes, but he did not. He was a really good boy. He stayed quite still as the old man planted kisses on his forehead and cheeks.

Before we went back, we lit candles.

 

Justine and You in front of the Basilica.

DOT 128 : ROCKS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

Half an hour later, Daniel was still resting. 

His eyes were closed.

I asked if the hospitaliers could help us wheel him out so that we could be at the grotto. One of them helped us to wheel him there. 

We had the VIP treatment. 

As you know, in Lourdes, anyone in wheel chair or stretchers are VIPs. So, we didn’t have to queue. We just walked right up to the grotto, to cut into the line that was so long you couldn't see the end of it. It is traditional for pilgrims to touch the rocks beneath the statue as they processed through the grotto. 

It was beautiful and heart-warming to watch Daniel lifting his hand up to touch the rocks, just below the statue of Our Lady. 

As it had been raining, water was dripping from Her statue. 

I was lapping it up (with my hands) like I had been in the desert for a year. I cupped his head with my damp hands. This water is dripping from where Mother Mary appeared in 1858 before a 14 year old pheasant girl Bernadette. 

Can you imagine that?

After that, we wheeled him to the seating gallery, parked his chariot there, facing Our Lady. We intended to spend some time there, praying the rosary and meditating. 

You were resting with Dad on our second day in Lourdes.

DOT 127 : FOOTBALL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

It wouldn't be a complete story if I didn't tell you that I started to cry again. I found my tears just welling up involuntarily and started flowing and flowing and flowing - like a mini river. 

Mother Mary, are You giving me a message? 

There are hundreds of people here, and You send this one to me? To tell me this message? I did not dare to hope because so far, I have been interpreting everything wrong. 

Then, the Irish man spoke again. 

This time, he said, "When I was at the bath at 12 years old, there was another kid who was very sick. He had leukemia and he died 3 times. Each time, he stopped breathing, they put him in the bath and managed to resurrect him." 

Now, he says, the boy is playing football, and is very much okay.

I stood there, totally speechless. 

This was all too much for me to take in. His opening up of something so personal and miraculous truly touched my heart ... no correction, my soul. 

Yes, my soul. 

Deep deep deep to the core. My vision was clouded yet again with unexpected tears. 

I have never cried so much in my entire life.

 

 Enjoying the peaceful scenery near the bath area.

DOT 126 : FREE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

While waiting for Daniel to come around, the Irish man came up to me and said, "When I was 12 years old, my body was filled with cancer..." 

I stared at him. 

Nothing came out of my mouth at first, but he definitely got my attention. He nodded, as if he was confirming the one question that was popping repetitively in my head then - 

REALLY ???

He continued quietly, like he wanted me to know that he understood what it was like to have a scary and life-threatening ailment, 

"It's been 13 years already, and I'm now free from it ..."

I was like, totally dumbfounded. 

I could feel he wanted to give me the assurance that everything would be okay. God must have put him there to strengthen my faith, which was already in clear danger of spiraling out of control. 

I pulled Bryan over, and asked the man, 

"Could you please repeat what you just told me?"

He did.

 

10,000 pilgrims from Italy that weekend. 

There were hundreds of people on wheel chairs, but only 3 on stretcher beds. 

 You were one of the 3.

 

DOT 125 : RAINBOW

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

I pulled out my rosary and started to say the Hail Mary.

My hands were trembling and I was shivering because it was so darn cold. I couldn't stop crying. My eyes are damn painful now. Pardon the language. One of the hospitaliers beckoned me to sit by the statue of Our Lady. 

I think he thought I might faint. 

He ushered me with his hands on my shoulders, and led me to the statue of Our Lady. I sat by Her feet (bench height), all by myself. People who walked past must have wondered why I had such a privilege. 

When I finished mumbling the 5 decades of the rosary in between sobs, sniffs and chokes, and was about to start on the Hail Holy Queen, someone tapped me on my shoulder.

I looked up. 

Another volunteer pointed at the far end, and I saw that Daniel had come out of the bath. He was lying on the stretcher, all covered up with a rainbow colored blanket. 

His eyes were closed. His hair looked a bit damp. 

Before he went in, I had waved my arms wildly and pointing to my head to make sure the hospitaliers would cover his head with the spring water. 

They understood.

 

 The Grotto at night.

DOT 124 : ENGLISH

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

We were 5 minutes late.

Thankfully, the bath hospitaliers quickly welcomed us in.

They put Daniel on a stretcher-carriage, following my hand signal that he was not able to stand nor walk, and steered his carriage straightaway to the entrance of the bath. 

I watched him disappear behind the curtains.

A man, whom I found out later was from Ireland, spoke to me in English (Yup, English) and said that the hospitaliers would take care of Daniel. 

He asked me not to worry. 

It surprised me to hear him speak in English, because everyone else spoke French and communication with anyone there was absolutely nil before this Irish man. 

It was so reassuring to be able to communicate with someone there. Seeing his warm smile and friendly face, was too much for me to take. I am embarrassed to say that, that was the moment I chose to be really unsophisticated. 

I let my guard down and bawled my eyes out.

I was so overwhelmed, like totally ... with everything that has been happening since our arrival here. 

Everything's gone crazy. 

I feel like I am walking on egg shells, not knowing when I would crack, break or shatter. 

 

 Taking a stroll near A Farmosa in Malacca (2009).

DOT 123 : COMMOTION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

Once we arrived at the Grotto gates, we had to hurry him on the wheel chair, while Laura drove back to park her car as we were not allowed to leave the car in front of the Grotto gates.

As Bryan was taking his own record time running there, I was left alone with Daniel in the wheel chair. I had to push and run and push and run, to try to make it in time to the bath, before the doors closed at 11 am.  The distance from the gates to the bath is roughly 200 steps.

Half way through, Bryan caught up, and he took over the pushing and steering of the wheel chair while I ran in front to move people out of the way. 

It was all very dramatic. 

Everyone made way for us, even the handicapped. 

Daniel rested his head in his hand, his elbow on the arm rest. Rolling his eyes at all the commotion that was going on, he still managed to give me "the look." 

He clearly did not like being starred at. Nor did he appreciate being the center of everyone's attention. 

We arrived at the bath at 11:05 am. 

 

 Justine, Aunty D and You waiting in line for chicken rice balls in Malacca (2009).