DOT 96 : HEMORRHAGE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes

Daniel (14+ years old) (Sunday 13/9/2009)

Day 4 in Lourdes …

You went for a scan first thing in the morning.

About fifteen minutes later, the nurses wheeled you back to your room. You hardly spoke to Dad and Mom, but continued to sleep the whole day, and would only open your eyes when the nurses called your name and spoke to you. 

On hindsight, You were resting in the spirit.

That morning, a different doctor came to see You. 

The one who attended to You upon admission the evening before, was on night call. 

This present doctor spoke slowly in English, and told us that your scan was normal. 

Yup, he said that. 

Normal ... that was probably the first time we've ever heard of your scan described as normal. Previously in all our experiences with your scans, they were accompanied by frightening reports.

The doctor added that, there was a small hemorrhage here, pointing to the scan, showing the right side of your brain. 

Dad took the opportunity to explain that you hit your head twice on the train, and asked if that could that have caused the bleeding. The doctor said that it was possible but the bleeding was not serious and should heal on its own. 

We were very grateful.

So, for the rest of the day and night, You just slept and slept and slept. You did not even wake up to eat your meals. This is the second day that You have not eaten anything. You were on your drips though. 

Hopefully, You would get a really good rest, and would get up and have a good meal the next day.

Meanwhile, our flight tickets to go home was the following day. It was pretty obvious that You were in no condition to travel. So, the plan was for Grandma and Justine to go home first. Dad, Mom and You would take a later flight, possibly a day or two later, we thought.

We thought wrong. 

 

 open mass at night ... 

on the first day ...

 

DOT 95 : COMPLAINTS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Saturday, September 12, 2009  

Day 3 in Lourdes …

You slept the rest of the day ... 

and through the night, quite peacefully. You only opened your eyes during periodic checks by the nurses, and went back to sleep right after.

That night, on the companion bed, Mom gloomily re-played the events of the day in her mind over and over again. 

Her head throbbed at the millionth question. 

So many questions, but not one answer. 

Not one good answer. 

You came here with back pains, she reflected to herself, and ended up with head pains too.

It suddenly struck Mom right at that moment that she did not hear You complaint about your back pains the entire day. 

You have been resting and lying in bed, in the hotel and then in the hospital, in one position. Since your slipped disc, You have not been able to lie down flat in one position for long. 

You would be shifting here there, left right, side to side, to try to alleviate the discomfort of your back. 

Today, the whole day, You lay on your back in one position. 

Yet strangely, there had been no complaints at all about your back. 

But your head... 

Dear God, what was going on with the head?

It just did not make sense ... 

 

 Hello God ...

 

DOT 94 : ANGEL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Saturday, September 12, 2009  

Day 3 in Lourdes …

It was hard to see You in pain. 

The discomfort must have been unbearable, although You were lying down quietly the whole time. 

God sent us an angel in the form of Aunt Laura. We bundled You up in the car, and Aunt Laura drove us to Lourdes Hospital, which was thankfully, about 10 minutes away.

At the hospital, Dad and Mom were grateful that the nurses who attended to us were warm and friendly, even though they spoke only a smattering of English. 

Aunt Laura was there to translate and to help us communicate with the doctor, when he came in later to see You. 

It really was not easy to tell the doctor what had happened because Dad and Mom weren’t exactly sure what was happening. 

You had just underwent a craniotomy 3 months ago, your doctor had declared You fit to travel. Then, a week after your op, You experienced excruciating back pains at the spinal end, and a scan revealed a prolapsed of the disc.

You were admitted that evening, with IV drips quite similar to the ones back home. Mom stayed with You that night, Dad went back to the hotel. 

Justine and Grandma were back at the hotel. 

 

 At the souvenir shop ...

 

DOT 93 : HOSPITAL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Saturday, September 12, 2009  

Day 3 in Lourdes …

Mom was awaken by the sound of a knock on the door. 

Dad was still sleeping. It was you. 

You came in, flopped yourself on the bed, one arm rested on your forehead. Your eyes were closed, your face tensed. 

Mom could hardly breathe out of anxiety, as she heard You confirm her worst fears.

“Headache…” You said simply, your arm still on your forehead, your eyes still closed.

“It’ll be okay, we have all your medication here,” Mom assured you immediately. 

She quickly woke Dad up, and told him that You were not well. Dad got up instantly and attended to You, by massaging your forehead to relieve the pain. 

Mom reached for your Grotto water and your pills by the bedside table. 

It was about 7:30am in the morning.

You gulped down your pills and rested. 

Mom opened the window. A breath of fresh cool air filled the room. The sky was very clear, You could tell it was going to be a beautiful day outside. 

However, Our Lady did not allow You to go to the Grotto that day. You were in bed trying to sleep off the head pains. The medication unfortunately, did not relieve your discomfort. 

At about 4 pm, You said, “I want to go to the hospital.” 

 

 On the coach to the train station to Lourdes ...

DOT 92 : STROLL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 2 in Lourdes (evening) … 

 

Since then, we have learned our lesson. 

After that frightening incident, whenever we took a trip out of town, we would take all your medication with us.

You woke up around 8 pm. 

Mom was stepping on egg shells by then. 

So, when You said You were okay, and that your headache was gone, Mom was so relieved, her eyes welled up with tears. 

You caught the betraying sign, and asked lightly, 

“What’s for dinner?” 

That made her cry and laugh at the same time. 

You were always sensitive to the feelings of people around You. That was your special strength. 

We all went downstairs for a nice hot meal. 

After dessert, we went out for a night stroll around the village. Justine and You had a lot of fun, checking out stuffs at the souvenir shops, while Dad took photos from all angles. 

There certainly was without doubt, a lot of laughter that night. 

Things were clearly back to normal …

… but not for long. 

 

 In the train to Mama Mary's Grotto ...

DOT 91 : AMEN

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 2 in Lourdes (evening) …  

 

Thankfully, we had packed some medication in case of emergency, steroids to reduce pressure in the brain and anti-fit pills. 

Your doctor would normally prescribe that for a few days, while scheduling You for operation. 

At one time, Justine and You followed Grandma to Penang to attend Uncle C’s wedding in November 2007, and You apparently fell from your bed in the hotel with a loud thud, waking Justine and Grandma up. 

They were shocked to find You on the floor having a seizure. 

Grandma frantically called Mom (in KL) over the phone and said that she could not wake You up.

You can imagine how Dad and Mom felt, getting a call like that, especially when You had never (ever) had a seizure before. 

That was your first time away from us. 

Mom urgently asked Grandma to call Uncle Chris (KL). 

Grandma did. 

Uncle Chris prayed for You over the phone, and after the prayer, Grandma said, at Amen, You opened your eyes. 

Now You can understand why we are reluctant to let You out of our sight. When You went for your church camps, Dad and Mom had to book into a hotel nearby, for our own peace of mind. 

Anyway, we never thought of packing your medication with You on that trip to Penang. 

 In the coach from Paris airport to train station ...

DOT 90 : MEDICATION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 2 in Lourdes (evening) …

“Here are your pills, Daniel …”

You were in bed. 

You turned around, stretched your hand out for your medication which You swallowed in one gulp with a glass of water. 

Then You lay back on your pillow, shut your eyes, and tried to take a nap. You did not want to talk, Mom could see that, and she did not attempt to ask or tell You anything. 

Ask … there was plenty she wanted to ask, but tell … she had nothing. 

Anxiously, she tried to reason in her mind what had happened. 

Before You went for the bath, You had agonizing back pains, but ONLY back pains. 

Your head was all good. 

Now, after the bath, your back was apparently worse than before and what was more, the headache had come back.

The headache came back? 

It just did not make sense. 

At all previous times, whenever You say the dreaded word “headache,” it indicated a recurrence. You have never had a headache that went away with two panadols. 

Your headache was always the first sign that the naughty cell had returned, and You had to be treated eventually with an open brain surgery. 

Your last and final surgery was in June 2009. 

That was only 3 months ago. 

It came back already??? 

 

Justine took this photo of You posing in front of the Basilica of the Rosary.

DOT 89 : HEADACHE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 2 in Lourdes …

You said nothing. 

Instead, You gave her a look of total disillusionment. 

She will never forget that look of disappointment on your face. Before she could say something encouraging, You abruptly turned around and took off. 

You walked fast, like You were hurrying. 

Mom called You, but You continued walking really fast. She half-walked and half-ran after You, kept yelling for You to wait up. 

You ignored her, and continued to walk briskly, taking the route back to the hotel. 

Mom finally caught up with You. Grabbing hold of your arm, she spun You around. She was panting breathlessly as she asked, 

“Daniel, what’s wrong??” 

You did not turn. 

She saw You biting your lip. She had to quicken her steps to walk at your fast pace, as You refused to stop or slow down.

At the entrance of the hotel, Mom pulled at your arm. 

Searching your face, she asked again, 

“What happened? What’s wrong?” 

Without turning to look at your mother, You replied in a short, abrupt monosyllable, that left her cold and numb. She felt her legs gave way as you uttered the dreaded word…

“Headache …” 

 

 If only we could turn back the clock ...

DOT 88 : BATH

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 2 in Lourdes …

The line at the Ladies were much longer than the Men’s, as a result of which, we only met up with Dad and You at about 3:30 pm. 

What Mom heard about the Bath, that you immerse yourself totally naked with only a plastic wrap around you, in freezing cold ice water, and upon coming out of the water, you’re dry immediately … they are all true. 

There were about 150 ladies who were at the Bath that time, and none had to use a towel to dry themselves. 

Everyone just came out dry. 

Including Mom.

And Grandma.

It felt really good, like a spiritual cleansing.

Justine said, when You came out to meet her, You had a big grin on your face although You were shivering. 

You were like, “Brrrrr, it’s so cold...” apparently.

We had a late lunch at one of the quaint little cafes opposite the Grotto. There, we had the most delicious spaghetti bolognese we have ever tasted in our entire lives. It was lip-smackin’ good. Out of this world. 

Truly, the best we have ever had! 

You seemed to enjoy the food although Mom felt You were a bit preoccupied with your own thoughts.

After lunch, we were walking back to the hotel. 

Mum noticed that You were very quiet. 

You were still having your back pains. 

Mom asked, "What's wrong?" 

Justine and You were entertaining yourselves 

while waiting for the rest of us to meet up ...

DOT 87 : CROISSANTS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010) 

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old) 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 2 in Lourdes …

A beautiful morning. 

We had a hearty breakfast of fresh croissants with creamy butter and all kinds of fruit jams, and freshly brewed coffee. 

Justine and You treated yourselves to a few tubs of yogurt and drank milk and juice after the croissants. 

What a treat!

After breakfast, we took a slow walk to the Grotto. 

We stopped by several souvenir shops, snapped photos here, there and everywhere. We wanted to make the most of our short time there. 

We were after all, going home in 3 days’ time ... as planned. 

At 10 am, Mom, Justine and Grandma, followed a small group of pilgrims who were going up the hill leading to the Stations of the Cross. 

You rested on a bench with Dad. You did not feel like walking up the hill at the time because of your back.

At 12 noon, Grandma and Mom went to queue up at the Bath, which would open at 2 pm. 

Aunt Laura, the lady who owns the hotel with her husband Peter, had told us that we'd have to queue as early as 2 hours before opening time, to make sure we "get in."

Justine did not follow, as she was having her ‘best friend.’ 

We all agreed to meet at a certain bench at 3 pm. 

 

 Posing by a souvenir shop ...

DOT 86 : FIRE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old)

Thursday, September 10, 2009 

Day 1 at the Grotto

The night was very cool but pitch dark ... 

except for a sea of little flames flickering from hundreds and hundreds of candles. Although there was a huge crowd, the procession was quite orderly. 

You were very engrossed with all the singing, and You sang with all your heart, swaying from side to side as we often see You do when serving on the Altar in church back home.

Justine, on the other hand, was a little tired from the journey. At one point, your sister nodded off during the Open Mass, and only got up with a start when a portion of the bottom of her hair caught fire from the flame of her candle. 

A small commotion ensued after that, with You cupping your mouth hard to stop yourself from bursting out with laughter as your sister frantically fanned the fire off her hair. 

Despite your laughs and giggles, several photos taken revealed your expression all screwed-up with agony from your back pains despite taking painkillers. 

Not once did You make a fuss or complaint. 

You said nothing at all because You knew, and Mom knew, that a miracle was on its way. 

Just like You knew that the back pains of the prolapsed disc could only be temporary. God would heal You.

In what way, and on which day, that was the question at the top of our minds.

Not Yours.

Your faith was steadfast. 

With God on our side, nothing can be against us ...

 

During the open mass at Our Lady's Grotto. 

We were seated on the ground.

 

DOT 85 : MODEL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old)

Thursday, September 10, 2009 

Day 1 in Lourdes
 

We met Uncle Peter and Aunt Laura who own and manage the hotel. Aunt Laura showed us to our rooms on the 4th floor. 

When You saw your bed, You flopped on to it face and chest down, hands outstretched, and your long legs dangling over the edge. Justine followed suit. 

Grandma sat politely by her bed, and admired the quilt cover. 

Dad and Mom’s room was right opposite. 

We rested a bit, showered, and went downstairs to the dining hall for dinner at 7:30 pm. 

While waiting for our meal, Justine and you went out to the court yard, to snap some “So You Think You Can Be A Model” shots of each other. :D

After a delicious dinner of pumpkin soup, meat loaf, potatoes, quiche and chocolate éclair for dessert, Aunt Laura brought us to the Grotto, which was about 5 minutes walk away from the hotel. 

There would be a Marian Candle Light Procession at 9 am. 

We were ready with our candles.

 

On the way to Our Lady's Grotto ...

DOT 84 : KNOCK

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes 

Daniel (14+ years old)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

We arrived in Charles De Gaulle Airport (Paris) ...

about 7 am in the morning. After exiting the airport, we took a coach to the train station to catch the 10:30 am train to Lourdes. 

We were very early, and so we hung out at a sandwich bar at the train station for about an hour before it was time to board the train.

When we finally boarded the train, Dad and Mom snapped many photos of the both of You, mucking about and making all kinds of poses. 

During the journey, it must be mentioned here that You knocked your head twice against a metal bar which jutted out from between Justine’s seat and yours. 

Both knocks were hard, and You reacted like your head was spinning after that. You were just so excited about everything, eagerly pointing to your sister the windmill and the green pastures on the right side of the window, and the brown cows that were grazing lazily on the never-ending meadow, on the left. 

So excited were You that You were turning to your right, and then left, and right, and left again, to look out of the window ... and that was how You knocked your head. 

View the photo that was uploaded on Saturday 17/4/2010 @ 12:08 am in your Facebook and You will remember that darn metal bar that protruded out.  Mom's gonna upload the photo here.

The impact of the knock resulted in a small brain haemorrage which would be revealed to us only later.

We arrived at the Lourdes Station at 4 pm, and took a cab to Hotel DuCalvaire. 

It was a short ride of about 10 minutes or so. Upon stepping into the hotel, we were pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a nice and homely environment. 

 

On the train to Lourdes ...

DOT 83 : AIRPORT

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

Daniel (14+ years old)  

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

 

We were not keen to put You through another surgery ... 

especially when there was no guarantee that after the operation, the disc would stay in place. 

We have heard of friends who had prolapsed disc repositioned correctly through surgery, yet after a while, the disc slipped back out. 

Anyway, your doctor said, that You were still young and agile, and it could heal easily on its own in time. He gave You painkillers to take care of that for the time being. 

Despite the painkillers, You could still feel the agonizing pinch on your lower spine from time to time. It kills Mom each time she thinks of You having to go through those - those - stupid pains.

We arrived at the Airport at 8:30 pm. 

After checking-in, we had dinner at Coffee Bean. 

Aunt Diana sent a text message to remind Mom to get some sleeping pills to help You sleep through the flight. 

You were in quite a bit of discomfort because of your back, and your aunt felt it would be easier for You if You slept through most of the flight. So Mom went to the Pharmacy to get some sleeping tablets.

God is good.  God was / is with us.

He ensured we had a smooth and comfortable flight to Paris.

 

We arrived at the Paris airport early in the morning ...

This is the outfit You wore when You went home to Jesus and Mary. 

The white / grey jumper and your favorite jeans.