DOT 127 : FOOTBALL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

It wouldn't be a complete story if I didn't tell you that I started to cry again. I found my tears just welling up involuntarily and started flowing and flowing and flowing - like a mini river. 

Mother Mary, are You giving me a message? 

There are hundreds of people here, and You send this one to me? To tell me this message? I did not dare to hope because so far, I have been interpreting everything wrong. 

Then, the Irish man spoke again. 

This time, he said, "When I was at the bath at 12 years old, there was another kid who was very sick. He had leukemia and he died 3 times. Each time, he stopped breathing, they put him in the bath and managed to resurrect him." 

Now, he says, the boy is playing football, and is very much okay.

I stood there, totally speechless. 

This was all too much for me to take in. His opening up of something so personal and miraculous truly touched my heart ... no correction, my soul. 

Yes, my soul. 

Deep deep deep to the core. My vision was clouded yet again with unexpected tears. 

I have never cried so much in my entire life.

 

 Enjoying the peaceful scenery near the bath area.

DOT 126 : FREE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

While waiting for Daniel to come around, the Irish man came up to me and said, "When I was 12 years old, my body was filled with cancer..." 

I stared at him. 

Nothing came out of my mouth at first, but he definitely got my attention. He nodded, as if he was confirming the one question that was popping repetitively in my head then - 

REALLY ???

He continued quietly, like he wanted me to know that he understood what it was like to have a scary and life-threatening ailment, 

"It's been 13 years already, and I'm now free from it ..."

I was like, totally dumbfounded. 

I could feel he wanted to give me the assurance that everything would be okay. God must have put him there to strengthen my faith, which was already in clear danger of spiraling out of control. 

I pulled Bryan over, and asked the man, 

"Could you please repeat what you just told me?"

He did.

 

10,000 pilgrims from Italy that weekend. 

There were hundreds of people on wheel chairs, but only 3 on stretcher beds. 

 You were one of the 3.

 

DOT 125 : RAINBOW

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

I pulled out my rosary and started to say the Hail Mary.

My hands were trembling and I was shivering because it was so darn cold. I couldn't stop crying. My eyes are damn painful now. Pardon the language. One of the hospitaliers beckoned me to sit by the statue of Our Lady. 

I think he thought I might faint. 

He ushered me with his hands on my shoulders, and led me to the statue of Our Lady. I sat by Her feet (bench height), all by myself. People who walked past must have wondered why I had such a privilege. 

When I finished mumbling the 5 decades of the rosary in between sobs, sniffs and chokes, and was about to start on the Hail Holy Queen, someone tapped me on my shoulder.

I looked up. 

Another volunteer pointed at the far end, and I saw that Daniel had come out of the bath. He was lying on the stretcher, all covered up with a rainbow colored blanket. 

His eyes were closed. His hair looked a bit damp. 

Before he went in, I had waved my arms wildly and pointing to my head to make sure the hospitaliers would cover his head with the spring water. 

They understood.

 

 The Grotto at night.

DOT 124 : ENGLISH

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

We were 5 minutes late.

Thankfully, the bath hospitaliers quickly welcomed us in.

They put Daniel on a stretcher-carriage, following my hand signal that he was not able to stand nor walk, and steered his carriage straightaway to the entrance of the bath. 

I watched him disappear behind the curtains.

A man, whom I found out later was from Ireland, spoke to me in English (Yup, English) and said that the hospitaliers would take care of Daniel. 

He asked me not to worry. 

It surprised me to hear him speak in English, because everyone else spoke French and communication with anyone there was absolutely nil before this Irish man. 

It was so reassuring to be able to communicate with someone there. Seeing his warm smile and friendly face, was too much for me to take. I am embarrassed to say that, that was the moment I chose to be really unsophisticated. 

I let my guard down and bawled my eyes out.

I was so overwhelmed, like totally ... with everything that has been happening since our arrival here. 

Everything's gone crazy. 

I feel like I am walking on egg shells, not knowing when I would crack, break or shatter. 

 

 Taking a stroll near A Farmosa in Malacca (2009).

DOT 123 : COMMOTION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

Once we arrived at the Grotto gates, we had to hurry him on the wheel chair, while Laura drove back to park her car as we were not allowed to leave the car in front of the Grotto gates.

As Bryan was taking his own record time running there, I was left alone with Daniel in the wheel chair. I had to push and run and push and run, to try to make it in time to the bath, before the doors closed at 11 am.  The distance from the gates to the bath is roughly 200 steps.

Half way through, Bryan caught up, and he took over the pushing and steering of the wheel chair while I ran in front to move people out of the way. 

It was all very dramatic. 

Everyone made way for us, even the handicapped. 

Daniel rested his head in his hand, his elbow on the arm rest. Rolling his eyes at all the commotion that was going on, he still managed to give me "the look." 

He clearly did not like being starred at. Nor did he appreciate being the center of everyone's attention. 

We arrived at the bath at 11:05 am. 

 

 Justine, Aunty D and You waiting in line for chicken rice balls in Malacca (2009).

DOT 122 : TWINKLE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 18/9/2009) 

Day 9 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 1

(extraction of Mom's email to Aunt J in USA)

 

This morning, at 8:30 am, we were trying to get Daniel to get ready to go to the Grotto. 

The baths would be opened between 9 am - 11 am. 

It took forever to get him ready because he would not sit up. Each time he tried, he would groan and fall back in pain. It's his head. He's feeling the low pressure the doctor warned us about. 

Daniel, seeing my anxiety, made a joke to get a smile out of me, complained that he didn't sleep well last night because I was snoring too loudly. I said, that was his dad. 

He replied, nahhh, it came from my direction. 

I was about to protest when I caught a twinkle in his eye. He was more concerned about my feelings of anguish than his own pain. 

A lump is appearing in my throat as I write. 

It's just not fair.

Finally, at 10:45 am, we managed to get him to wear his pink t-shirt and shorts, and put on his shoes. 

He suddenly sat up, stood up and walked to the escalator, which had a chair in it. He lowered himself slowly on the chair, as the escalator bought us down to the basement. 

From there, we bundled him up in the car, and Laura drove us to the Grotto. Bryan had to run there as the car only had space for me on the passenger seat and with Daniel, lying down behind. 

 

 Dad, Justine and You putting on sunscreen at the beach.

DOT 121 : ASSURANCE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) (evening)

 

Can't You tell the French doctors what to do like You did the Malaysian doctor? Don't You speak French? Mom had thought childishly. Or rather, helplessly.

Your mother said at last, "God performed all those surgeries."

The doctor nodded and said, "Yes, yes ..."

"Before we go home, we would like to take Daniel to the Grotto since we are here," Mom said. 

Hearing that, the doctor agreed to discharge You. 

He said, "You can go to the Grotto. I don't have to keep You here since he can take his medication orally now." 

Giving You your prescription to take home, he sincerely wished us the best. Aunt Laura arrived just then and the doctor communicated to her in French, probably telling her that there was nothing more he could do, and that we could go home. Seeing them talk in low voices, Mom's heart sank deeper into unknown waters.

It did not matter what the doctor said to Aunt Laura because her expression radiated with cheerful assurance as she came over to your bedside.

"Let's go home, Daniel. Mother Mary is waiting for You at the Grotto ..." 

Mom's vision blurred instantly. 

 

 Visiting a special home during the youths' activity.

DOT 120 : EMBARRASS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) (evening)

 

In the ambulance, Mom sent a text message to Aunt Laura.

It was about 7:30 pm, by the time we arrived at Lourdes Hospital, and You were wheeled to your room. 

Dr R had a word with Dad and Mom outside your room. He said, among others, that he was embarrassed he could not help us further, and that he had no solution as to what to do next.

Embarrassed ...

No Malaysian doctor would say that, no?

Dr R said that he and all the doctors have done all they could, including the specialist in Pao, and that once your condition was more stable, they would do their best to help us bring You home. He mentioned once again, that no doctor in the whole of France would have been able to do an open brain surgery on a child FIVE times (in seven years). 

It must have amazed 'em French doctors that You still managed to retain all your normal functions despite those several delicate brain operations. 

Surely they were aware that JESUS, the physician of all physicians, was present at the operating theater and had overseen ALL your surgeries. 

Did we not pray for HIS hands to be your surgeon's hands during those very crucial moments? God must have refined and retuned your surgeon's skills to handle and exercise exceptional microscopic precision, in each of your surgery.

B-but God, where are You now? 

Your mother's silent plea.

 

 In Genting Highlands (Chinese New Year, Feb 2009)

DOT 119 : REPORTS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) (evening)

 

Dr D wrote a lengthy report for the doctors at Lourdes Hospital. As detailed as the report written by Dr R from Lourdes Hospital to him. Dad and Mom could not read a word, much to our frustration. 

Both reports were written in French. 

We were advised to hold all the medical documents for our traveling purposes.

On hindsight, perhaps it is best that we were not able to comprehend the contents of those documents. The length itself was already intimidating, what more the contents. 

On top of that, they were hand-written in a foreign language. Just looking at the reports made Mom feel all suspicious and nauseated. 

Could it at all be possible that the documents contained all of the good and none of the bad, but only in a long-winded way? 

Yes, hold that thought, Mom told herself. There was nothing else she could cling on to anyway.

Besides, it is not like we could have done anything differently had we understood the reports at all.

It was about 6 pm when the stretcher came for You. 

Two ambulance assistants transferred You from the bed to the stretcher, before whisking You away. Dad and Mom hurried closely behind. You were pretty much alert and looked relaxed all the way back to Lourdes.

 

Dad, Justine and You at Kuantan Beach ... (2009)

DOT 118 : BEG

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) (afternoon)

 

Dad asked your doctor about your headrush. The doctor said that You could be experiencing low pressure for awhile. He made it sound like it was something that could go away gradually. 

We did not ask further. We were too happy. The doctor then said that arrangements were being made to send You back to Lourdes Hospital. 

Mom could not wait to tell You the good news. 

She burst into your room, all excited, and blurted, "Daniel, guess what?" 

You turned to look at your mother. 

The words came tumbling out of her mouth after that.

"Your doctor said that everything is normal. You're gonna get better. The headrush is normal, it's the low pressure. It'd go off soon ... We're going back to Lourdes ..."

You face lit up as You gave a wide smile. 

For a moment, the multiples were forgotten. 

Forgotten by Mom. 

As for You - You were not aware of their existence. 

You never would ... and never will ... if Mom had her way. 

She was determined to hassle God and beg Him to take that away. Yup, that would seem to be the plan for now. She has no other option but beg The Almighty to spare her Son.

 

 At the airport waiting for our flight to France (Sept 2009).

DOT 117 : NORMAL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) (afternoon)

 

Mom gave You a little squeeze on your hand and said she would be right back. 

She was going to ask the doctor about the headrush, she said. 

About the other thing ... You did not have to know. 

It wasn't your problem to begin with ...

Outside the room, the doctor announced, "The fluid is normal. There is no inflammation. Everything is - normal."

Pause.

What???

Normal???

Everything???

Mom mentally hugged herself. 

Normal. 

That was music to the ears. The fluid was normal. Everything was normal. It felt so good to hear that. 

Excuse me, but how's the results? Oh, normal. And the fluid? That's normal, too. How's everything? Why, everything's normal of course. Just normal. 

What a wonderful word.

Normal. Normal. Normal.

She could not say enough of it.

Normal ...

 

 You with Dad in Malacca (April 2009)

DOT 116 : HEADRUSH

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) (afternoon)

 

You screwed up your face.

Mom asked urgently, "What's wrong?"

You mouthed the words, "Headrush."

The nurses were fussing over You, removing your lines. It was obvious that You did not want them to hear your complaint. 

The doctor had just left the room. 

After the nurses went out, Dad explained that standing up abruptly after lying down for so many days could likely bring on a headrush. 

You gave that a thought, and seemed contented with the explanation.

Mom asked whether it was bad. 

You said, "No, not really."

Dad said, he would check with the doctor anyway. 

You said, "Okay."

Waiting for the results was so exhausting emotionally.

It was almost 5 pm when your doctor finally came to see us. He apologized for the delay, explaining that he was held up at an emergency surgery. 

Dad chatted with the doctor, as both men walked out of your room. 

 

 At Kuantan beach with your sister (Chinese New Year 2009)

 

DOT 115 : PARACETAMOL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) 

 

Dad cheered and Mom clapped. 

Our eyes were fixed on You as we watched your every move. 

That nostalgic moment reminded Mom of the time when You took your first step at ten months old. You made three wobbly steps forward on the carpeted floor in the living room at home, before landing heavily on your bottom with a thump, and that became the hottest news which lasted the next few weeks.

Everyone had a big, big smile on their faces, including the two nurses who had come in to your room, all ready to give You a sponge bath and change your sheets. 

The doctor instructed that the drips be removed and all further medication to be taken orally. Dad found out from the nurses that your medication included paracetamol, anti-inflammatory drugs and steroids. 

Before leaving the room, the doctor informed that the results of the fluid extracted the day before, will be out of noon time.

 

Pause ...

 

Results ...

 

Mom cringed uncomfortably upon hearing the word. 

The cheery mood in the room was instantly switched off, only to be replaced by a, strangely familiar, cold chill.

 

 You with your Aunty Carol and your sister Justine

in Kuantan during Chinese New Year (2009).

 

DOT 114 : HESITANCE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 17/9/2009) 

Day 8 in Lourdes

6th day in Hospital (Pao) 

 

Good morning!

The doctor greeted cheerfully when he came to your room. 

The clock on the wall showed 8:30 am. 

For the first time since You were admitted, six days ago, Dad and Mom had a really good rest. Your room was spacious, could take in two companion beds, and still had lots of space to move about. 

Not that we wanted to make ourselves too comfortable. In fact, we had just woken up when a nurse came in with your breakfast tray a short while ago.

"Dah-nee-ell," the doctor called your name, in a strong french accent, as he approached your bed. 

"Can You try to stand up?" he said, as he bent over to lower down the bed railing. 

You turned over to Dad and Mom with a look of uncertainty. 

We understood your hesitance perfectly. After all, You have been in bed, immobile literally, for the past several days. Anyone would feel a little queasy even at the thought of sitting up, let alone standing.

The doctor offered You his hand, and gave You a warm smile of assurance. You took his hand, and slowly sat up. Then You swung one leg, and the other, over the edge of the bed, and straightened up. 

Holding both the doctor's hands, You got off the bed and stood up. A little unbalanced at first, but the doctor continued to encourage You, and very quickly, You were standing upright on your own two feet. 

He slowly let go of your hands, so that You were then standing on your own.

That's your Aunty Diana and Dad with You.

In Malacca in Year 2009. Having chicken rice balls for lunch. :D