DOT 199 : PROMISE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

"Let's do that, shall we?" Mom asked with much enthusiasm.

Your mother added, 

"We're not going anywhere at the moment. So why don't we go to the grotto everyday for the next 15 days? We've already done 9 days anyway. We'll bathe in the spring waters and drink from it. We'll just do what She tells us to do, and we leave the rest to Her ... 

Mother Mary wants You to stay here for awhile, Daniel, otherwise we would not have missed our flight home. Can You imagine the Mother of God asking the 14 year old pheasant girl if she could kindly come to the grotto daily for the next 15 days?"

"I'm 14 years old too," You reminded rather proudly.

Your mother smiled ... before turning away with a sinking feeling as she remembered that Our Lady had also said to Bernadette, 

"I can't promise You happiness in this world, but in the other..." 

Mom chose not to mention that. 

That line did not seem to be for your benefit. 

Nor her's.

Moving over to the bed next to You, Mom flopped down on the mattress and dropped heavily back. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and her knees were bent at the edge of the bed. 

With one hand resting lightly on your back, your mother continued to ramble on and on and on, trying to assure You that everything was going to be alright.  

 We were so not going home yet ...

Picture taken on Sept 29, 2009.

DOT 198 : FIFTEEN

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

"I don't know what God's plans are for us, Daniel. All I know is that God loves You. Mother Mary loves You too ... very very much. You must know that by now. We came here for two miracles. We've received the first one already. You remember how painful your spine was. Now do You still feel the pain?"

Slowly, You shook your head ... with half your face still buried in the pillow.

Your mother rambled on, 

"We don't question God. We just do what we're supposed to do. We do our part, and we let God do His part. God already showed us one miracle just so we would believe. The second miracle is just a matter of time. Since we're not going home yet, why don't we continue to go to the grotto for 15 days?

Mother Mary had in fact said to Bernadette, 

Would You be so kind as to come here every day for the next 15 days?" Mom reminded with enthusiasm.

"Imagine Her asking You that now, Daniel," Mom said with encouragement.

"Imagine Mother Mary asking You," she repeated, 

"Daniel, would You be so kind as to come here every day for the next 15 days? Drink from the spring waters and wash yourself in it ..."

 

 Taken Nov 27, 2008 at the waterfall resort.

DOT 197 : RAMBLE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

Caught off guard by your question, Mom found herself speechless for a moment.

Holding your gaze in mid air, she racked her brains for something to say ... anything ... but nothing came to mind. 

Every ounce of breath was squeezed out of her body as she saw your eyes welled up, before two big drops of tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Seeing your disappointment, your mother felt her heart being ripped apart. 

We had faithfully completed the 9 days of novena, and we could not help but notice that the miracle we have been praying for, was still pretty much - missing.

You hopped off the carriage abruptly, brushed past your mother, got into the elevator which was a few steps away. 

Mom ran up the stairs, as there was only one elevator. We were on the first floor. Aunt Laura had moved us from the fourth floor to the first when we extended our stay beyond the initial five days.

In the room, Mom found You on the bed. 

You were lying on your side, your back facing the window. Mom sat down beside You, with your back facing her. 

Wrapping You in her arms, and holding You close, she starting to ramble from one thing to another, in the hope of uttering something that would be of some assurance and comfort to You. 

 

 On the train to Lourdes on our first day.

DOT 196 : SILENCE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

You were quiet and appeared to be deep in your thoughts.

We made our way back to the hotel.

Arriving at the hotel, Dad pushed your carriage through the basement door, at the lower ground, while Mom held the door open. You were lying quite still on the carriage.

Leaving Mom and You to take our time to get to the dining hall, Dad left us and went ahead to the kitchen to prepare some lunch.

As You slowly pushed yourself up to a sitting position, Mom folded up the woolen blankets. 

You sat very still. 

Mom turned to look at You, and You returned her gaze. 

No words were spoken.

Finally, You broke the silence and asked quietly,

"Actually Mom ... what's wrong with me?"

 

Taken at a Health Cafe on July 30, 2009.

DOT 195 : FEAT

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

Mom watched You as You swung your legs down and slowly, got down from the stretcher-carriage. 

She found herself almost holding her breath as You walked over to Dad and her. Dad greeted You with open arms as You lowered yourself and sat by the bench with us. 

That was today's big accomplishment, your mother mentally noted to jot down in her journal later.

As we relaxed and allowed our senses to soak up the tranquility of the surroundings, Mom sighed her relief and remarked that somehow, we had managed to complete the 9 days of our novena. 

That was no easy feat. 

Some days were easier than others, she admitted, but we managed to pull through all the same to complete the 9 days.

It was an achievement definitely. 

Thank God for that. Our Lady was holding your hand at all times, and we could feel Her divine intervention from day to day. 

God surely has His plans.

 

 Sept 28, 2009

DOT 194 : IMMERSE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Saturday 26/9/2009) 

Day 17 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 9

 

This morning, You went to the bath on the carriage.

At the bath, one of the hospitaliers by the name of Sean, gave dad his contact card. He was going back to Ireland the next day. He wanted us to keep in touch and to let him know your progress in the future.

That same day, Julian, another bath volunteer who has been seeing You almost on a daily basis, gave You a little snow globe, that had tiny figurines of Bernadette kneeling before Our Lady. 

He too would be leaving Lourdes, and flying home to Australia. He told Dad and Mom that You have been able to immerse your whole head into the water lately. 

Day by day, we witnessed You getting a little better.

After the bath, and the usual spending of some time at the grotto, we pushed your carriage to the opposite side of the stream and stayed in the sun till about 2 pm. 

Once again, it was a beautiful, sunny day. 

Today, You wanted to tan only your legs. So Dad had to position your carriage at an angle that had the shade of the tree on your face with your legs exposed to the sun. 

After a while, You managed to bring yourself up to a sitting position.

 

Sept 29, 2009

Aunty Diana took this photo of You.

DOT 193 : KEPOH

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 25/9/2009) 

Day 16 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 8

 

Extraction of Mom's email to Aunt Jessie in USA

back at hotel. 

he rested with bryan while i cooked lunch. his appetite was good. it was about 4 pm then. 5 pm, we went for the benediction. we didn't join the procession though, just went directly to the underground basilica. 

after that went back to hotel. now bryan and i are having dinner, while dans is taking a nap. will feed him when awake.

the choir thing was short lived.

that night, during the choir, there was a rosary meditation. it's really weird but during that time, my rosary broke. you can imagine my horror - cos i was panicking wondering what kind of sign that was. 

anyway, that same night in the hotel room, it broke again another 2 times. this was wed night. on thursday, becos dans was not on top form, i couldn't participate in the choir - so that was the end of my lourdes singing career - i think mother mary is telling me to just focus on my son, and don't be so kepoh.

dans is letting me use his rosary, blessed by the pope, given to him by a man on the first day in the grotto. dans is using a huge one given by a red indian - you can't misplace it - it's big.

talk to you again. gotta go feed the child.

chare

 

Aunty Carol took this photo of You (altar boy on right)

DOT 192 : EMAIL

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 25/9/2009) 

Day 16 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 8

 

Extraction of Mom's email to Aunt Jessie in USA

it's 7:30 pm now. 

friday. 

dans is napping. 

we went for the morning bath this morning at 10 am on stretcher. he didn't feel too fantastic this morning. 

a hospitalier at the bath exclaimed that he was so worried when he didn't see daniel yesterday (thursday). actually, we were there, but he somehow missed us. after bath, we pushed his carriage to the other side of the river, overlooking the Immaculate Conception grotto, and parked him there. 

he slept, ate some fruit and yoghurt, drank grotto water, and slept some more in the sun. was entertaining just watchin' him.

yeah, it wasn't sunny at first, but i asked mother mary to pls just warm us up a bit so that dans could spend some time there, and would u believe it - she immediately sent the sun. 

it really was a hot day after that and dans got a little tan. he even pulled up his jeans to tan his hairy legs. 

we spent about 3 hours there, until he said he was hungry. 

 

 At Paris airport upon arrival.

DOT 191 : KISS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 25/9/2009) 

Day 16 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 8

 

"You saw that, Daniel? Did You see that? Mother Mary moved the clouds away so You'd be warm," Mom said brightly.

You replied with a half-smile, 

"Thank You Mother Mary, it's much warmer now." 

You then brought your knees up, pulled up the bottom of your pants to expose your knees and legs.

"I want to get a tan," You explained with a grin.

Dad and Mom left You to bask in the sun, while we watched You from a bench at a short distance. You looked so peaceful resting on your carriage in the sun. 

Once again, we wished we could stay there - forever. 

People would stroll over to your carriage to say hello. A few ladies could not resist, and had bent over to kiss You. The men stopped by and shook your hands. 

You had your cheeks playfully pinched, your face stroked, and hair ruffled. It was - nice - watching your hand gestures and the smiles You gave to the passers-by, from a distance.

Pushing your cart home a while later, You made a face.

Dad asked, "What's wrong?"

You quipped childishly in a grumpy tone, 

"A guy kissed me just now."

Dad and Mom laughed heartily.

Yeah, we saw that - on both cheeks too. :D

 

 On our first day at the hotel ...

DOT 190 : CLOUDS

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 25/9/2009) 

Day 16 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 8

 

It was a beautiful day.

We parked your carriage in the open space beside a large tree. The sun that was shining brightly this morning had somehow gone into hiding. 

Now the sky was filled with puffy clouds. 

The thick white clouds were so strikingly white that that they looked startling against the clear blue sky. It was a bit chilly without the sunshine.

Tilting her head back, Mom spoke aloud to Mother Mary, pleading with her to please bring the sun out so You could spend a little more time at Her place. 

Your mother was still looking up to the sky, mesmerized by the sharp contrast of the pure white against the clear blue, when she witnessed the clouds slowly moving aside for the sun to shine its warm rays down from above.

Mom yelled out to Dad excitedly, 

"Did you see that? Did you see that? OMG, did you see that? I asked Mother Mary to bring the sun to come out, and the clouds just moved aside!" 

Dad nodded and said he saw that. 

It was suddenly sunny again. 

Mom turned to You. 

You were relaxing comfortably, with your eyes closed and your hands clasped together on your chest. 

 

Pic take on Sept 28, 2009.

That was certainly one of your better days.

DOT 189 : INTERVENTION

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 25/9/2009) 

Day 16 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 8

 

At the sanctuary, Mom dropped to her knees before the Blessed Mother and prayed earnestly that She would continue to hold your hand and bring You to Her and to the bath that day. 

We lit some candles. 

Then, Sophia and Mom parted, agreeing to meet at the Blessed Sacrament celebration at the underground basilica at 5 pm later. With that, Mom hurried back to the hotel.

What a pleasant surprise your mother had waiting for her when she arrived at the hotel. Dad said You had taken your breakfast, and that You were ready to go out. 

Inwardly, Mom found herself whispering a note of grateful thanks to Our Lady for answering her prayers. Things somehow have a way of working out each time we plead for Her intervention. :D

We left the hotel at about 10 am on the stretcher - carriage. 

At the bath entrance, Sean, one of the hospitaliers, said that he was so worried when he did not see You the day before. That was a sure sign for your parents to bring You there every day. In fact, we did bring You to the bath the day before, but somehow we did not bump into him. 

After the bath, we pushed your carriage to the opposite side of the river that overlooked the grotto, for You to spend some time in the sun.

You loved the relaxing, peaceful quiet time in the sun.

 

Picture taken on Sept 29, 2009.

DOT 188 : UNPREDICTABLE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Friday 25/9/2009) 

Day 16 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 8

 

Last night, You did not feel well.

At one point, Dad expressed that we had to take You to the hospital. He had given You your medication. We had taken out our rosaries and prayed as we observed You. 

Your eyes were closed and soon, by the even heaving of your chest and deep breathing, we realized You had fallen asleep.

Dad and Mom had sat by the bed side and watched You. 

So much needed to be said but no words were spoken. What we went through day by day was so unpredictable, we did not have the faintest idea of what would happen next.

You were / are in God's hands.

At the dining hall, your mother was having a cup of coffee. Dad was with You in the room. Uncle Peter, the owner of the hotel, appeared and told Mom that Sophia the Korean girl, had visited the hotel earlier this morning, asking about You. She had apparently just left the hotel. 

Mom quickly ran up to the room to tell Dad that she was going to look for Sophia. Your mother hurried towards the grotto, hoping to catch Sophia there. 

Spotting the Korean girl at a distance, your mother quickened her steps, as she called out Sophia's name. Sophia stopped and turned around. She gave Mom a wide smile. 

Mom caught up with her. Sophia said she got up this morning, and for some reason, felt worried about You. Mom remarked with a grimace that last night was not one of your best nights.

We walked together to the grotto in silence.

Picture taken on July 20, 2008. You were 13 years old.

DOT 187 : NOISE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 24/9/2009) 

Day 15 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 7

 

Mom sat beside You and watched You sleep. 

You were still very much in Snooze Land. She called your name several times and told You it was time to get up. You did not stir one bit. 

Your mother ignored the lack of response and carried on a normal conversation with You. She was communicating with You on a different level. Mom had to believe that You could somehow hear her, your sub-conscious at least, otherwise she would be overly distraught by the mere fact that You were not responding.

After what seemed like a long while, You finally opened your eyes.

You said sleepily, "I - heard - a - noise ..."

Your unexpected response was a huge relief to Mom.

She chided with a chuckle, 

"That's not noise. That was Mom talking to You."

Stretching yourself, You raised your eye brows and let out a lazy sigh, "Ohhhhh ..."

Mom was almost skipping to the dining hall with sheer happiness, to get your breakfast. 

Oh, thank God, he got up, she thought happily.  

Thank God, thank God, thank God ...

Walking back to the room with a tray in her hands, she sent a telepathic message of triumph that radiated out into the universe :

"When God is for me, nothing can be against me."

 

 Aunty Carol, You, Justine and Mom

In the car on the way to the beach in Kuantan.

Jan 29, 2009.

 

DOT 186 : TURBULENCE

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Thursday 24/9/2009) 

Day 15 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 7

 

This morning, You could not wake up.

Mom could not wake You up. Neither could Dad. 

We decided to let You sleep in and go for the bath session in the afternoon, assuring ourselves that perhaps your body was demanding for uninterrupted rest after the accumulated exhaustion of the last two days.

Aunt Laura had left for Spain the day before, with her mother and her brother who had come to visit her from Malaysia. Before she left, she had said to Mom, to be strong and that there might be challenges towards the end of the nine days of our novena. She said whenever she was doing the novenas, she would always find some kind of obstruction that would attempt to stop her from completing the nine days.

God must have sent Aunt Laura to prepare Mom about that. 

This morning, instead of panicking and being clueless as to what to do, your mother had somehow remained calm. 

In times of turbulence, did God not say to BE STILL ...

Dad went to the grotto while Mom stayed with You in the hotel room. With dad at the grotto, Mom knew in her heart that You would be waking up any moment now. Things somehow have a way of turning out right after we plead to Our Lady for Her intervention.

We were in Her territory. 

God's Mother is right here. 

We couldn't be in a better place ...

 

 Taken on Jan 28, 2009.

Your last Chinese New Year with us.

DOT 185 : SNAP

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Wednesday 23/9/2009) 

Day 14 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 6

 

"Let's come here again next year," Mom suggested.

Dad agreed, "Same time in September."

You exclaimed excitedly, 

"Yezzz, we can have that pasta again. Hmmm ..."

There was a shop we discovered on our first day in Lourdes, which happened to serve the best spaghetti - 

"in the world" ... according to You.

You were not exaggerating. It really was the best spaghetti bolognese we have ever tasted - "in our lives."

That night, along the dimly lit streets, we made a pack ... a solemn pack ... as we placed our palms on top of one another, to bring You back to Lourdes again the following year. 

Our spirits were high as we thought of our next trip in September the next year. This time, we have to plan properly, we said, and get all your aunties to come along too.

Back in the hotel room Mom told Dad about her rosary, and asked if Dad could fix the chain. She dipped her hand into her pocket, brought the rosary out, and cupped it in her palm. 

As she picked up a bead and lifted it up with her other hand, the rosary chain snapped again, in two other parts. 

Mom could not believe her eyes. 

The rosary broke - again? 

How could a rosary snap in three parts?

How?

And all in one night ...

 

Aunty Diana, Aunty Carol, You and Justine (Dec 27, 2008).

DOT 184 : FOREVER

THE FINAL CHAPTER : A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (Sept 2009 to Jan 2010)

At the Grotto of Our Immaculate Conception, in Lourdes   

Daniel (14+ years old) (Wednesday 23/9/2009) 

Day 14 in Lourdes

NOVENA DAY 6

 

We slowly strolled back to the hotel, enjoying the cool night air. 

Mom let out a sigh and said that she wished we could stay in Lourdes - forever. Dad felt the same way. It would have been perfect had Justine been with us. 

It was so peaceful and safe there. 

Mother Mary was just round the corner. 

Each time we were faced with a challenge, and God knows how many we have had since we first stepped foot on the soil of Lourdes, we would run to Her, and things would somehow settle and work out, and be alright after that.

Aunt Laura had expressed that we should bring You to Lourdes every year until You are "completely healed." 

Mom had readily agreed to that. She had that very thought in mind. 

On hindsight ... 

There was no way for Dad and Mom to have guessed then that God's plans were so different from their hopes and dreams for You. Really, there was no easy way for God to tell your parents that your time on earth was up, and that He would soon be calling You home.

In just about 4 months' time ...

 

 

Taken on July 5, 2009 ... 2 months before our trip to Lourdes.