Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
“Please wait here,” the O.T. assistant said politely.
Dad and Mom stood by the counter at the entrance of the operating theater. Mom’s eyes caught sight of the doctor as he was walking out from within the operating hall.
Her eyes were fixed on him, as she observed him scribbling on what looked like a patient’s file.
The doctor then looked up, saw Dad and Mom, and gave a curt nod. Mom sucked in a quick breath as the doctor walked towards them. His expression gave nothing away. He was still in his ocean green surgery gown, shower cap and fishmonger boots.
Mom cringed inwardly as she spotted a small Harry Potter slash of blood stain on the front of his gown which could have only come from You.
“The surgery went very well, Daniel’s okay,” the doctor said, looking quite pleased with himself.
“He’s awake and talking already,” the doctor continued.
The calm assurance had a tremendous impact on Dad and Mom. A huge burden was immediately lifted from their shoulders.
Daniel was talking already, so soon after the surgery?
What could he have said? Mom wondered.
Talking already?
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
If Mom thought Dad would swing to her side immediately after that loud emphasis, and gratefully support her theory, she was sadly mistaken.
“That proves nothing,” Dad maintained distantly.
Mom sprang forward in her seat and threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.
“I’m telling you, it’s that stupid thing,” she almost yelled.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Dad said, shaking his head.
She opened her mouth to hurl some stinging retort but no words came to mind.
That is the main reason why she quit legal practice.
Lawyers of the opposite sex can be so dense,
They - Make - Her - Sick! she thought acidly.
Yes. Dense.
What was with all the proof nonsense?
What was that about?
It was all one very irritating pain in the butt.
No wonder You were kicking so much in the tummy, Mom reflected dully. You knew discomfort even in the womb and Mom gave that to You?
That realization sliced her like a razor blade, causing her vision to be blurred immediately. She let out a suffocating gasp as she felt herself bleed emotionally.
Just then, the doors leading to the operating theater swung open, and an O.T. assistant called out,
“Daniel’s parents?”
Dad and Mom stood up simultaneously and hurried towards her.
The assistant said, “The doctor wants to see you.”
At a Baby Contest. You were 16 months old. Contestant Number 24.
Doing Michael Jackson moonwalk ... :D
All Mom had to do was say,
"Daniel, your turn ... dancing ... michael jackson ..."
and you ran up to the stage. You were the only kid who did that.
You won 1st prize for your category (between 1 - 2 years old)
which included a RM1,000 cash vouchers from Jusco
and one year's supply of baby products from Johnson's & Johnson's.
The event was reported on the news that night.
That's your short stint at fame. :D
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
“That … stupid device!
Don’t you remember? To stimulate the fetus? That small walk-man box-thing?” Mom reminded icily.
“I had to strap it around my belly and the sound waves were supposed to be like oh-so-good for the baby,” she mocked dramatically, rolling her eyes as memories of that supposedly deadly device flooded in.
Dad leaned forward, and said, “You have no proof.”
Jerking her head in Dad’s direction, Mom let out a scornful laugh, “No proof?”
She did not wait for him to reply.
“Our - Son - is - in - there ...”
she heard herself hissing as she pointed an accusing finger to the direction of the operating theater, “having an open-brain surgery, and you - say - there - is - no - proof?”
Her voice was high pitched.
“It proves nothing,” Dad drawled quietly.
He continued, “Unless you can show a good number of children whose mothers were using that device have br..."
His words trailed off.
Dad and Mom could not say the word “brain tumor” then.
“This is different,” she protested stubbornly.
“Don’t you remember, my monitor was defective? The pace and the sound waves of the heartbeat couldn’t be controlled. It was set at maximum level the whole time. That was over - over - OVER stimulation!”
All tired out after Justine's 7th birthday outing at the Science Center.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Dad opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.
His face bore no expression. His reluctance to participate in the heated debate grated on Mom’s nerves.
“One thing’s for sure,” Mom thought out aloud,
“he got it since birth.”
Pausing for a moment, she took the initiative to clarify,
“It happened during pregnancy, I’m sure of it.”
Dad turned to look at her direction.
He remarked grimly, “You don’t know that.
Even the doctor doesn’t know how he got it.”
“Oh ... Oh, but I do,” Mom retorted with a dangerous slur.
Dad said nothing.
For a while, he seemed to be in deep thought.
Attempting to read his mind, Mom said finally,
“Okay, fine. You’re right. It’s not the microwave.”
Her low tone suggested defeat … but not for long.
“You know what,” she exclaimed suddenly, eureka-style,
as she sprang forward in her seat.
“It’s that stupid thing ...”
“What thing?” Dad frowned slowly.
"That stupid, stupid thing we bought at the Baby Fair!"
she bit out angrily.
Even squatting in a corner looks fun ... :D
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
The room was very quiet and still.
Staring blankly at the wall, Mom sat there in her seat, motionless and drained of energy. Before long, a host of questions flashed across her head in serious confrontation.
Just then Dad walked in, and slumped himself on the seat beside Mom.
“Why did this happen?” Mom asked under her breath, her tone was carefully neutral but firm.
Dad shook his head.
“Do You think it was the microwave?” Mom began her investigation.
“We did use the microwave quite a bit making coffee and stuff,” she pursued, trying to make a weak point stick somehow.
Dad shrugged and mumbled something inaudible.
Leaning back against the wall, Dad tipped his head back and closed his eyes.
“I was pregnant, I was forever standing near the microwave oven,” her voice began to sound shrill.
Dad remained still.
“I was surrounded by radiation everywhere!” your mother cried hoarsely, hysteria rising within her.
At Santa Monica Beach, USA.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday November 12, 2002
The text message was from your aunt Diana.
Her message, in reply to the text message You sent earlier that morning, read :-
“Of course, silly. Anyway, it’s not the head that counts.
It’s our soft butts, remember?”
The “soft butt” phrase was a favourite past-time joke between Aunt Diana and You, for reasons Mom does not recall.
Leaning back into the hard seat in the Waiting Room, Mom read the text several times before scrolling to the text message that You had sent.
How You could come up with such an endearing message was beyond her.
A nurse popped in just then, and handed Stitch over to Mom, saying,
“He’s sleeping now, the doctor will be operating soon.”
Giving the nurse a polite nod of acknowledgment, Mom cringed as a sudden shudder rippled through her.
She stole a quick glance at the clock on the wall. Your doctor had advised the day before that the surgery should be over before 12 noon.
About four hours to go ...
Life's just great ... <3
By Martina McBride.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
You replied quickly, "Okay!"
It would appear that You could not wait to go for the operation. Perhaps your excitement about the PS2 was so intense that a high-risk craniotomy just paled by comparison.
After You were wheeled into the operating theater, Mom hurried to Aunt Jessie, who was at the Waiting Area. Mom's tone was urgent as she asked Aunt Jessie to drive to Toys ‘R’ Us to get a BIG pack of toys for You.
Dad did not, and would not, have the time to leave the hospital to get your PS2, and we did not want You to be disappointed when You “open your eyes” later, to see nothing at the foot of your bed.
So, Aunt Jessie and Justine went to Toys ‘R’ Us for a shopping spree.
Dad stepped out of the Waiting Area to make some calls, whilst Mom sat in a corner, folding her arms nervously against her chest and shivering in the coldness of the room.
Shortly after, Mom’s cell phone beeped indicating an in-coming text message ...
There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it
There is no mountain too tall, He cannot move it
There is no storm too dark, He cannot calm it
There is no sorrow too deep, He cannot soothe it
God would soon carry You through the operation ... <3
Scott Wesley Brown
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
The nurse’s exact words :
“Everything take out, underwear also.”
You were also quite tickled to find that there were no buttons to hold the gown together, just flimsy strips of ribbons here and there.
You began to clown around, pulling your short gown down the front with one hand, in an effort to cover more of your skinny thighs, and at the same time gripping the back of it with the other hand, consciously trying to make sure the gown did not slide open to reveal your bare back and white buttocks.
Your comical act brought a smile to our faces.
Justine burst out laughing. :D
Indeed, God gave You the grace to single-handedly make light a situation that was otherwise tense and heavy.
When your stretcher-bed came, you were grinning like Sebastian the cat, and looking quite excited.
The porter positioned the stretcher right beside your bed, and You hopped onto it.
As You were being wheeled out of the room, Mom picked Stitch up from the bed, Stitch being a soft toy that Aunt Jessie had bought for You.
Tucking him safely in your arms, Mom said,
“Stitch will be with You the whole time, until the doctor comes, okay?”
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching You
By Robert Downey Jr & Sting.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Your eyes were wide with wonderment when You answered in your melodic “No-oOo ...”
Uncle Chris smiled and explained that Jesus and Mother Mary were standing right beside You, and that Jesus will be the one operating on You.
God will be guiding the surgeon’s hands, he had assured.
You listened attentively and nodded your head at all the appropriate moments, a sign to us that You understood everything about your situation, better than any of us, and without question.
Clearly, the Holy Spirit was with You that morning.
You were not in the least bit anxious or afraid. There really was a very good feeling about everything that was happening around You that day.
The time was about 7-15 am.
Getting You to change into the surgery outfit was not a problem at all. You were quite eager to put it on.
You did exclaim loudly though, with a long,
“Eeeee-Yewww...”
when You discovered that You had to be totally naked under the gown. :D
God is smiling down on You and watching You from a distance ... <3
By Bette Midler.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
“That’s right, Son.
You only have to think of Jesus and PS2, okay?”
Dad reminded.
“Okay,” You replied, contentedly.
Like ...
You understood the strategy of the game You were about to embark on.
That simple response reflecting your absolute child-like trust in our Creator, caused a painful lump to suddenly appear in Mom’s throat.
Tears threatened to burn her eyes again.
Holding her breath to halt the tears from falling, Mom behaved as normally as she could, as she approached You with the surgery gown, draped untidily in the crook of her elbow.
The night before ...
Uncle Christopher had dropped by the hospital to pray for You. As he prayed in tongues, we surrendered You totally to Jesus.
After the prayer, Uncle Chris asked You,
“Daniel, did You see Jesus?” :D
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart <3
That is what You taught us.
Your trust in GOD is pure, absolute and unconditional. <3
Praise & Worship.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
The girl's mummy was coaxing her child in anguish,
"Operation is not painful ...
Don't cry ...
Don't cry ..."
Watching her, Mom could not help but feel a certain level of anxiety gnawing at her nerves.
Soon, she began to feel very anxious and fretful for You.
A nurse approached Mom to hand over a green gown, saying that the porter was on his way to your room, and that we should change You into the O.T. gown.
Consciously avoiding eye contact for obvious reasons, Mom took the gown with a curt nod, and went back to your room.
In your room ...
Mom was somewhat comforted to see You looking cheerful and relaxed in your bed, both your hands supporting your head, and your feet crossed casually.
Justine was on the companion bed. Both of You were watching the Disney channel.
Dad said, “Remember what You have to think about when you are in the operation theater?”
Your response was quick, “Jesus ...
... and PS2!!!” :D
Looking at You then, now and some day in the future,
we know one thing for sure ...
There is a GOD ... <3
And GOD loves You very, very much ... <3
By Lee Ann Womack.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Deep sobs racked her body ...
as she let her guard down and allowed herself to be consumed by an overwhelming wave of emotions that threatened to suffocate her and leave her lungs gasping for air.
Dropping to her knees, she cried her heart out and wept as if her life depended on it.
For all mothers out there with children who are living with brain tumors or have gone to Heaven because of that,
those tears that morning ...
she swore solemnly ...
were shed for you ...
Shortly after regaining her composure, Mom came out of the bathroom quietly. Feeling embarrassed with her flushed appearance and tear-stained face, she slipped out of the room, unnoticed, for some fresh air.
Outside, there was a small commotion with a little girl who was wailing loudly. She was about your age, clinging to her mommy, screaming her lungs out and looking absolutely terrified.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar ...
I will soar with You above the storm ...
Father, You are King over the flood ...
I will be still and know You are GOD ...
Hillsong lyrics.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
On the morning of the surgery ...
Mom suggested that You send a text message to your aunts who were studying in Russia at the time.
Both your aunts, Diana and Carol, have been texting back and forth, and forth and back, from the day You were diagnosed with that ...
that ...
bit of water in your head.
You took Mom’s phone eagerly, and started to key in your message with much enthusiasm.
Your mother stood by your bed, and watched You.
In less than a minute, You handed the phone back and said, "Okay, done!"
Mom could not help but take a peek at what You had written :
“Dey r going 2 shave my head.
Wil u stil love me wen I m botak (bald)?”
The innocent message was totally unexpected, and it caught Mom by surprise. Hot tears instantly stung her eyes, and threatened to trickle down her cheeks.
Turning away abruptly and stepping into the washroom for immediate privacy, she closed the door. Leaning heavily against it, her head tilted back, she found herself breathing hard.
Before long, all the pent-up feelings that had been carefully locked within her the last few days, came crashing out of control.
So tell me now and I won't ask again ...
Will You still love me tomorrow ... <3
By American Idol 2011 James Durbin.
By Shirelles.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Saturday, November 9, 2002
Mom heaved a sigh of relief.
Excitement, elation and having something exhilarating to look forward to...
That was the reaction she wanted You to have. It was important that You do not think, not even for a moment, about the surgery.
At all.
Not that You were even thinking about it.
You weren't ... but just in case.
“Now, go thank Dad,” Mom said, following the both of You as You two ran to Dad in the living room.
Mom threw Dad a look of guilt, which was quickly replaced by a victorious smirk.
“I told Daniel You’d be buying him a PS2,” Mom announced slowly, with a please-play-along wink, nailing Dad on the spot.
Watching You both fling your hands around Dad, and yelling, “Thank’s Dad,” Mom’s chest contracted painfully.
You...
You must never know ...
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb ...
By Miley Cyrus.
Daniel (7+ years old)
Saturday, November 9, 2002
“Well, when - you - open - your - eyes,’’
Mom repeated slowly to create a higher level of suspense and to give her some time as she racked her brains for a suitable reply,
“You will see a big box that says ...”
What was the latest game that You wanted?
Of course...
You were all wide eyed, and almost holding your breath at that point.
Mom mouthed the words clearly, “Play-Station-Two.”
You gave a yelp of excitement!
The expression that radiated from your face at that moment was priceless.
“Pee - Ass - Two???”
You squealed at the top of your voice.
“Justine, PS2!”
The look You shot your sister was one of pure delight. The both of You started dancing around and chanting,
PS2, PS2, PS2 ...
I'll rise up like the eagle ...
